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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Zoe7 Really feeling apprehensive and unsure about it. I know I need it but it just seems so hard sometimes. I suppose that I could say I've started to move but I don't feel like it really. Hopefully this counsellor is someone that I can get on with and talk to.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sending you hugs @cutiepiekitty and to say we are here for you my friend xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope they are someone you can talk to too @cutiepiekitty It is often so hard for us to find that person but when we do it can really help - very much hoping this is the case for you Hon.

I hear your apprehension but that is natural - you are embarking on a new relationship with someone you are yet to meet and that can be both confronting and cause anxiety. The long day is also not something I would be looking forward to either - that will certainly tire you out asa much as the appointment itself. I hope there is somewhere you can go or something you can do to fill in time before you have to get on the train home - the counsellor should be able to help you out with a community house or somewhere else you can go to relax for a while.

This appointment is a great start to the 'moving' process - it may not be an easy road but at least you are on that road. Let us know how it goes

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Shaz51 . This is a place I finally feel I am safe to let things go and ask some thinks that people just do not understand. My brain and people outside always say that there are others that know but so often that is followed up by being told they have gotten through it so I should be able to as well. But I never learnt the skills to cope or to talk or to ask for help. I am listening to a lot of music, and getting a lot of strength from a couple of songs and interviews from one singer at the moment. She is speaking what I want to say, and I have just watched an interview where one of the songs she actually wrote the lyrics to herself. I know now that she has been through some very bad times herself. One day I hope I will get to meet her, see her live, give her a huge hug and thank her for putting what I couldn't into words and thank her for speaking into my soul. I have loved and felt her music for many years, but it is only recently I heard these 2 songs and the interviews.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Zoe7 If not probably one of the many city churches would have somewhere open that I can go and just sit quiet and try to sort through things. Might have a look over the next few hours if I can to see if I can find some. I kind of recall one church that I know where it is that I think used to have a place that was a welcome place for anyone needing a friend. Maybe I will look into that.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That sounds like a really good idea @cutiepiekitty Hope you find something close and welcoming - goodluck

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

we are here for you @cutiepiekitty

Hello @Mazarita , @Zoe7 , @Meowmy , @Doglover

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 Hey wish you a good evening, peaceful and happy, take care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

you too my darling @Meowmy , thinking of you today my fiend xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 Thanks darling, so important to me.

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