FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

21,481 - 21,490 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @frog gorgeous picture. How are you?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth 👋💕 Thanks for the tag and thinking of me.

New home is not guaranteed yet. It will hopefully emerge at the end of a process that will take months, so nowhere near the end of chaos yet either.

Some decisions being made are well intentioned but highly questionable, so I have had to work out how to question and redirect them to a manageable form without triggering an implosion.

Getting there by degrees. and a lot of eggshell walking. Heartwise it’s very hard going, so emotional rollercoaster is in full swing too. There is a lot of letting go involved that I had been hoping I would have to face.

If the new home works out it will remove a lot of conflict and allow different “lifestyles” to exist in the same space.

I hope you and everyone else here have an okay day. Thinking of too many to try to list, with a tired and hurty brain.

💜🌷

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending love @Faith-and-Hope Sorry to hear the upheaval continues. You are so strong I just know you'll get through it. Different lifestyles existing in the same space sounds like something to look forward to. Very much hoping it pans out that way and that there is no implosion. Always lovely to see the support and special relationships you have here xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

would = wouldn’t ^^^

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

💜🌷 @eth

Relationships here have kept me in a place where I am able to cope. Can’t imagine what would have been otherwise.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

morning @eth and everyone
i am working again today. hopefully the day doesnt drag on like yesterday cause i dont really feel like going. last night was just a regular thing about how i ruin everything etc- reason this time was because i told pop that he couldnt use baking soda as sugar so he chucked a tantrum.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes @Faith-and-Hope the relationships in our life can make all the difference.

Hearing you @outlander and feeling for you with all you have on your plate. Hoping today is a good bit more peaceful for you xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks @eth
hope todays ok for you too

@Faith-and-Hope

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Good morning, take care, have a nice day.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth and other folks,

Thank you for inviting me to this "rave" 🙂 - I haven't been sure where to start getting to know this community.

I've spent the last 2 months in a psychotic phase, which has torn my life as I have known it apart. I usually get psychotic Autumn and Spring, so this Winter nonsense has taken me by surprise a bit. (I have had many, many psychotic patches over the years, it's just the timing that felt weird.) The good news is, that it seems like my depression is mostly psychosis based - so maybe fewer anti-depressants in the future? Though more anti-psychotics. It is good to have a better understanding of what is going on, at least.

Things are slowly improving. I can't study this semester, which is a bummer, and I've lost a lot of friends along the way, but at least I have some hope of things getting better, which is more than I had last week.

It's a relief for the household, too. I live with my carer, D, and his wife, J. It has taken a toll on all of us, especially seeing as they both have MIs and other chronic illnesses too.

21,481 - 21,490 of 27,230