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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Owlunar It's not at all that helping others isn't good for me - it absolutely is. But my time on-line overall has increased exponentially since my 2 friends went overseas for the winter. There are other things I could be doing that are also good for my mental health and I agree with her that it would be good to have more of a balance.

I do hear you about reacting to being told what is or isn't good for me - I have a bit of that too, but ultimately agree with her. I've been on-line at least 20-25 hours a week lately. Like you I live alone in my cabin and my time is my own, but it's in my brother's back yard and he and his wife also encourage me not to spend all my spare time on the computer. Because the cabin has 1 long wall that's almost entirely glass they can see what I'm doing. The one pitfall of living here, where I have amazing support.

Thanks for your support too. Hope your headache is easing xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning everyone @eth @Doglover @Owlunar @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @BryanaCamp @Adge @Zoe7 @eudomonism and so many others sorry if I mmissed you.

I had a good family day yesterday watching Netflix together. Then when I went to bed my head wouldn't stop going down SH thoughts. It was such a good day then I have had barely any sleep. I'm so tired.

Today I have to go birthday shopping for my son turning 18. And I have to do some cooking, homemade vegetarian sausage rolls. Hopefully keeping busy my head will be clear, I really want to get rid of these thoughts as it's only time before I act on them.

Hoping you all have a good day, I would love to see you around this morning on the forum. Blessings to all of you xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Angels333 I hear you on barely any sleep - much the same here Hon and it is hard to function when we don't sleep. It is good that you have things to do today to keep busy and I hope you make it through as okay as you can when you are so tired. Happy birthday to your son 🎉🎈 Let us now how the day goes and how you manage to get through as well Hon.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Angels333

I am glad you had a good day. It can be hard sometimes to believe that things are going well. Also when we have struggled with SI it can take a long time of things going well ... to finally put some of those thoughts ... to bed ... so to speak ... and get a good night's rest ...

Keep perservering.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Angels333 hope today was better for you and you get a good sleep tonight.

Hi @Zoe7 and @Appleblossom

Quiet day here today and I just haven't got a lot of words at the moment. Will be thinking of you @Angels333 and hoping those thoughts ease, very much. Have you anyone you can reach out to when it gets like that? Or considered calling one of the helplines? Tagging @Former-Member in case they have any suggestions that might be helpful.

Take care all of you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @eth @Appleblossom @Zoe7 Thanks for the replies. Today was good, I got the cooking done and have some freezer meals for through the week, as I'm back to work this Tues. It's now that I have stopped for the day and am resting that my mind goes in negative territory. Yes @eth I have been considering lifeline the last few days. I will be seeing my Psychiatrist on Wednesday so I can speak to him then also. It's been really awful the thoughts have just been horrible.

Anyway I hope your day was good for all of you and anyone else passing by. Blessings to you all xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I did the same as you today @Angels333 - got a couple of things cooked to heat up over the next couple of days as I am back to work this week (tomorrow) too. I am extremely tired today so very much hoping for an early night.

It is never nice having those negative thoughts but you have achieved some positives today and kept yourself occupied for a while. Use the helplines if you need Hon ...and us here too - if it helps you get through. Hugs

Edit: was meant for Angels333 as Eth mentioned

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

A Big Hi! and good morning to all the formites on The Long Rave!:D @Zoe7 @Mazarita @Angels333 @eth @Appleblossom @Doglover @Adge wishing you all a super pea Monday :D. Sprinkling with rain here so no walk. Will spend the day with son2. Have a great day everyone and take good care of yourselves. Love peaxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hi @Angels333 well done on the cookery. That'll be great to get out of the freezer during the week, especially once you start working. I've recently started work after 7 years of unemployment and while it can be stressful at times, I'm really enjoying it. I hope it is a positive experience for you too. Glad you've had some quality time with your family over the weekend and you've been able to keep your SI thoughts at bay. My car broke down Sat which spoiled all my weekend plans, find out today if it's fixable & how much. Have a good Monday

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey there @Angels333 well done on getting the cooking done 🙂 Sounds like you achieved a decent amount. Just checking in as to how those heavier thoughts are going? Glad to hear of your appointment on Wednesday. We're all sitting with you and want you to know you are not alone

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