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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Owlunar

Great to hear from you. Yes I've been a long time off the radar, I came back for support. I hope to give a little also. Yes, I just wrote a list and am clearer in my head.

Thinking of you at this time of the anniversary of your son, be kind to yourself I can't imagine your pain.

I hope you get to sit in the sunshine soon. Xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth

I am taking it easy today - and making one of my favourite dinners - a "casserole in a pot" - it's easy to make and clean up after - always importat that - and it does for two meals - something I do often

To me it's always important to care for ourselves

And the forum has been a really helpful place for me to deal with past trauma - and it really has been so much better this year - I try and get out of the city once during winter - I am planning another trip in September I think - last year I went to Cairns and I didn't want to come home but I had an elderly cat who has since passed and I can stay a bit longer this year - planning trips and going and c

oming back and remembering lighten the troublesome memories a great deal

I have learned to share my unhappy feelings here - it was hard to start doing that but sharing them has brought the support I really needed - there is not too much of that support in the real world - cyber-sharing is safe and has definitely worked for me

Dec

Thanks again Eth

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thinking of you @Owlunar and @Former-Member .

Pretty busy at work today. Have a presentation coming up. Glad to get it out the way.

Thanks for the shout out @eth .

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Owlunar I'm really glad you've joined this thread. For a long time I didn't know where to find you.

Sending more love xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes - it's great to hear from you too @Angels333

And I am glad you came back for support when you needed it - I have found the forum to be excellent - I have come such a long way since I joined which is over three years ago now

Writing things down also makes things clearer for the head - I find writing into the forum does that for me too - it's amazing how much it has helped me deal with the terrible pain of losing my son - and it is hard to share that unimaginable pain - my family was no help at all - my daughter - who is the rose in my life - was too young to really understand - this I get and leave it to her - I know she is older and cares more now but keeps her thoughts and feelings to herself - which is her choice - and I don't have a problem with that

My parents have both passed now and I know they both had severe regrets over their egregious behaviour - my father did speak with me about it before he died - I was lucky to have one of those wonderful conversations everyone should get but rarely do - and I felt vindicated afte what Dad said - my mother - no - this didn't happen - she had developed some kind of dementia - she tried to tell me something but it sounded like a record that got stuck -

I am sorry that all happened but I am mature enough to know that we can't change the past and people will do what they do - I am free of them - I have done a lot of sorting out in the last year that has been some kind of blessing - it just took years to get to it

It's a lovely thought - to sit in the sunshine - this is not likely to happen today in this city where we are having a bitey winter - but I can imagine it easily after a few days on the Sunshine Coast last week

Thanks - and glad to see you again

Dec

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I do know aht one thing after another feels llike @eudemonism

I have been through that with Chronic Pain Syndrome - at the beginning it was trial and error with all sorts of treatments that felt as if I was part of the experiment - I suppose in some things we have to go through that but I was glad when they stopped trying and I was allowed the medication - enough can be enough

But when the medication seems to aggravate the situation - I read a few posts here about that has been happening - that it feels like a plot-losing-situation that must be really dark for you - let's hope this can stop - it must be a nightmare and I get it

In my past - I thought of writing about it but decided not to right now - because my son's behaviour was really difficult to manage - I was given some medication but eventually it was decided that I would have nothing but sedation when I needed it and that was prn and in my control -

I can't imagine what it's like to be continuously dosed up and having side-effects - I hope this gets sorted out for you -

Thinking about you though - I guess I have had my own adventures and have a vague idea - vague is enough to know enough possibly

Dec

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thinking of you today @Owlunar

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am glad I have joined too @eth

I write my own story in Life can be a Pain - I joined after Easter in 2016 - my son went into Juvenile Dentention after Easter in 1986 and Easter just before I joined was at the same time of year and I had spent the holiday - with bleak weather - in one lounge chair with the other one directly opposit with a sprained ankle elevated - it was a really bad time and I was referred to the Sane Forums by Life Line - and that was a stroke of brilliant luck

Losing my son was the main reason I joined but I also have chronic pain syndrome - I have found there are quite a few people in the forums with chronic pain or physically painful issues so it is a really good place to share these difficulties as well -

Life does throw a lot of curly things - big and small - I am not alone here and this is such a good place to be - I have yet to read this thread - thanks again for tagging me -

Sending more love back

Dec

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Maggie

I really am getting a lot of support today and it is helping so much

Dec

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