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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well done @Angels333 I'm glad you enjoyed cathcing up with old friends. That question is a hard one. You did really well my friend. Also well done on going to the gym and to DBT, that's a lot to fit into one day. I don't have the decipline or concentration to do either of those so I really admire your strength. You sound loads better since getting back from hospital, I hope you feel better & things will continue to improve for you. I hope the DBT people are nice & it's giving you useful tools

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @BryanaCamp thanks for the encouragement. Yes I am much better after hospital. The new meds have definitely given me more energy before hospital I was sleeping all the time there was no way I could have attended the gym or DBT let alone both.

Saying that I have been struggling with SH thoughts again just the last few days. Last night was awful I was up in the middle of the night trying to defuse.

How about you @BryanaCamp what do you have planned for today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the support @Bunniekins @Shaz51 @Angels333 and good morning to you and all here today @Teej @Appleblossom @Zoe7 @CheerBear @Exoplanet @Adge @outlander @Faith-and-Hope . Hope everyone's day starts gently and any plans turn out well.

Awake several times through the night as usual, but with my brain busier than usual, going round in NDIS circles. Should talk about it over on the NDIS thread tho'.

Also already what if ing about details of having a visitor and staying somewhere that I'm not familiar with, even if it is close to home. Silly brain being ocd about wanting to plan in advance tho' I don't even have dates yet and the way his work is he will probably only know close to the time it happens. Amazes me still the details my brain can find to latch on to. Typical anxiety symptoms - I have theoretically got skills to deal with it (breathing, CBT, doing activities to take my mind off it), but don't seem able to prevent it. Hoping my session with my psychologist tomorrow helps.

My support worker told me about something called "Dignity of risk" that I want to find out more about. About sometimes needing to take an apparent risk (for me that's staying somewhere outside my usual box) in order to do something we really want.

A little light reading for the morning!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dignity_of_risk

Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities[edit]

The first of eight "guiding principles" of the United Nations' Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities states: "Respect for inherent dignity, individual autonomy including the freedom to make one’s own choices, and independence of persons."[18]

____________________________________________________________________

Why is it important to support dignity of risk for individuals with a disability?
Dignity of Risk refers to the right of all people to undertake some tasks that have a level of risk. ... Dignity of Risk should mean that support services encourage the disabled to make their own informed choices.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sorry to hear you had a rough night @Angels333 hugs & well done for getting through it. I'm glad your new meds are better.

I've just started a new job so I'm off to that today. Yesterday I was yawning all day in front of my new manager which wasn't too great but had a good night's sleep so hopefully will be more alert today. The people are really lovely so that's important to me. Thanks for asking.

Hope you have a peaceful Tuesday, how are you & your kids going today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @eth your document sounds like it hits the mark re the rights of a person with a disability.

@BryanaCamp starting a new job! That's impressive I'm having a quiet day After such little sleep. My so is off to school to work on his HSC woodwork major work. The other 2 are just lounging around on holidays.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Very familiar with the concept of “Dignity of Risk” in response to my D3 (Daughtet 3) @eth, but haven’t heard it called that before. It has been natural to extend that outlook over the other unwell ones in the family as they became unwell, and it’s part of their recovery path too.

Thanks for sharing, and I can appreciate how significant it is for you, and how important to understand it’s meanibgfulness. I will look into it more as well.

Cingratukatikns on your new job @BryanaCamp and wishing you all the best for it.

Hi @Angels333 👋

Hopibg you get a bit of a break along with your on-holidays ones .....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope . I'm sure you're already encouraging it. I find it useful to discover the language for it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yeah @eth .... me too ❣️

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

After a rough night I'm proud of myself for weeding our overgrown front garden. The bin is now full. I did get help from son 1 which was great.

My borderline personality disorder is rearing its ugly head with urges to self harm. I'm doing ok using my DBT and ACT skills but I think I'll try and see if I can get in with my psychologist this week instead of next Tuesday.

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