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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Thanks for message and encouragement. Wish you a nice day. The sun is out here.lol.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge good morning, Adge. Hope you have a nice day.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth it traumatised me and the psychologist didn't do enough grounding so I often left his office a wreck. But did it help? Yes in the long run it gave me something tangible to hold onto.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hugs and love @Angels333 '

Hello and hugs @Mazarita , @Meowmy , @eth , @Appleblossom , @Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51 how are you today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry to hear you had that experience @Angels333 I think grounding is really important at the end of a session. But it took me several psychologists over the years to find this one who I feel I'm totally safe and making progress with. All the others kind of kept me in a holding pattern where I was just barely coping with daily life and not really working thru the complex traumas in my past.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hello @eth

on friday we do 6 hours cleaning all up

home now relaxing

aching a little bit but ok

yesterday while waiting at the doctos with mum i had a hyper with my diabetes

how has your day been xx

we have a wedding to attend tomorrow but mr shaz is stressing out big time already xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Shaz51 sounds like if you had to have a 'hyper with your diabetes' you were in the right place to be taken care of. It must be a constant monitoring what's happening with that. And you work so hard as well as being a carer. I take my hat off to you.

Today has been a day at home for me after a busy few days. I spent some time this morning doing an interview with a woman who's studying recovery from domestic violence and was quite shaky, then exhausted after it. But I'm glad I did it. Maybe some of my experiences with it and since can help others in the long run.

Hope hubby's anxiety about the wedding settles a bit before then.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I spent some time this morning doing an interview with a woman who's studying recovery from domestic violence and was quite shaky, then exhausted after it.--- ohhh i think you would be my @eth , that is a lot xxx

how is your weekend looking , more quietier than today xoxo

ye mr shaz will be ok but will be listening to the clue to go home @eth xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 I have a support worker for 3 hours tomorrow morning. Not sure yet what I want to do with her, she's a new one and this will be our first session. Back to square one with building a rapport and trust. After that a quiet weekend at this stage.

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