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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge Hey how are you going lately. Sorry to hear a bit of tough days for you. Hope you get a lot more nice good days soon. I am more or less the same, good and bad days, ups and downs. Guess the downside is one The traumas never got less or smaller now nearly thirty years later. Two, my old age looks lonely, frail to me . Not much I can do about that. No family when mum passes. Hard to make good friends at my age fifty. But generally okay, still working, walking daily.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Meowmy I am 50 as well, so I can identify with fears of having a lonely frail old age.

Yes, I never told anyone of my traumas until over 30 years later.

The effects seem greater, rather than less, as time passes.

Yes it does seem harder to make new friends, as we get older.

I'm glad that you find some purpose in your work.

Walking daily is very good, very motivated.

I am working too, I always have been - even though my work (& clients) trigger my complex PTSD (& make it worse), on a regular basis.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge Hello, Adge, Just hope by doing the right things,look after ourselves, help others. May be we will be okay in old age. So good found the forum, it is good support.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes @Meowmy You have a good way of thinking about (seeing) things.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

In response to being badly triggered (this afternoon), & feeling a disappointment (to myself & others) -

My psychologist said:

"You’re never a disappointment. I’m always impressed by your tenacity" 😊

That was lovely to hear....

Adge

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51 @eth tonight was super busy with my daughter at drama then Thursday night shopping then waiting for my son to finish work. I went to the gym again today, it's such a struggle but I do think I accomplished something. Only to wreck it with some avoidance eating. Ahhh tomorrow must be better.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hullo

@Meowmy @Angels333 @Shaz51

@eth Really glad your life is filling up in a good way.

@Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Adge @Angels333 @Appleblossom @Meowmy @Shaz51 and all who pass here this morning. Hoping today is one of the better ones for you all.

@Adge hearing you about PTSD triggers. Really good to hear what you were told about being tenacious yesterday. I agree. I'm really glad you have such good support there. I also agree that in some ways dissociating during an event can be a survival instinct, but it's hugely problematic when it continues to recur for years after the event. It must be so hard working in a job where you are repeatedly triggered. I don't know how you do it. I think you do an amazing job of keeping on and using your self-care e.g. your yoga. Are you interested in trying to find other work?

I haven't worked for a long time because of the PTSD. (I got the DSP years ago). I have complex PTSD and bipolar 1. Traumas which started in childhood and then every few years since then. Every time I felt I started to make some progress in therapy I was knocked down again by another major assault. Or wreaked havoc in my life in a bipolar manic psychosis (usually triggered by another trauma).

This time it feels different. I'm living in a very supported situation in my bro and sil's back yard cabin, and am more grounded than for a very long time, albeit shielded. On much better and effective meds these days too. But I think what's helping the most as far as the PTSD goes is the EMDR therapy I'm doing with my psychologist. And another new technique called Flash therapy which is based on EMDR but you tap on your thighs instead of using electronic hand held buzzers or using lights. Since starting it my startle reflex and flashbacks are not quite as intense and I recover from them a bit faster. I feel lucky to have found her and have now been seeing her weekly for the last year and fortnightly the year before. The longest time I've seen any medical person.

So that's 2 major ways my life is so much more stable these days. Graded exposure with support workers is helping me too.

@Adge and @Meowmy I want to say there is life after 50! I'm 56 and have made huge changes for the better over the last 2 years. And have goals these days where I was isolated and felt stuck and worthless for several periods of several years. You are both working hard in many ways, and braver than me.

take care today everyone

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth I did EMDR where the psychologist tapped on my thighs for childhood trauma.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Interesting @Angels333 I'm not sure how I'd feel if it was the therapist tapping on me. In my case I tap on myself. Did you feel some benefit from it?

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