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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Angels333 hope you have a nice day.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hi @Angels333 I'm really glad I was able to give you support through your difficult time, if only a little. I think your expression of gratitude is really lovely.

That's wonderful that you've turned a corner with your psychologist. I know all about taking responsibility for mental illness. It is a huge burden but an importnat adjustment to make. I always felt like the victim (of past trauma) so taking responsibility for my own feelings and mental health and actions was confronting and hard but a good lesson.

Your 16 year old daughter is very young and still undergoing brain development so you have the opportunity to be a positive role model. I have a 20 year old nephew who is experiencing MI and I am trying my hardest to be a positive impact in his life as I believe personality (and therefore chronic mental health issues) is still forming in the brain right into the late 20's.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @BryanaCamp thanks for what you said about taking responsibility and for not being the victim it is hard but I know it's possible. Yes my daughter is very young and impressionable and hopefully I can stay well and show her that wellness is possible.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7 sorry I didn't reply when you asked how my day was yesterday. I've been a bit overwhelmed by life on and off the forums the last few days. The gradual increase in external pressures over the last few weeks has finally knocked me down. I am managing by finding off-line things to do quietly when at home because when I'm online I'm acutely aware of a friend I seem to have lost. Hoping to participate in Topic Tuesday tonight if I last that long (just mean I'm tired). How are you going? Good to hear your swelling has reduced. I imagine you've had plenty of soup the last few days!

Hi @Angels333 you are sounding strong in your resolve and well-supported irl. I'm very reassured that you felt my support was helpful. You've been on my mind. Keep up the good work! Sometimes being a good role model for our kids is the impetus we need for big change. I wish you well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Zoe7 @CheerBear @Appleblossom @Exoplanet @Adge @outlander @Shaz51 @Teej @Angels333 @Meowmy and anyone I've missed. Sending hope to you all that today has some positives.

I have my psychologist and psychiatrist ap't today, which I will go to with a support worker. And in between do some grocery shopping. We're going to use the bus to and from the first ap't which will be another practice run. She gets off the bus 3 stops before me and meets me at the destination. I hope eventually to walk around to the bus stop and catch the bus by myself, but I'm not sure of the steps between here and there. It's a big challenge for me as a lot of PTSD triggers potentially (stuff that happened on the bus when I was 13ish). I still find it really hard to convince myself I'm safe enough to do things like this alone.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Reaching out one more time to you @Bunniekins I miss you, you've been on my mind a lot. Hoping ......

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hope slowly to work through traumas. Have a good day.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Me too @Meowmy EMDR is helping me.

Hope you have a good day too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone 🙂 @eth, @Meowmy, @BryanaCamp, @outlander, @Bunniekins, @Angels333, @Exoplanet, @Appleblossom, @Zoe7, @Adge, @Shaz51 and all (sorry - I know I've missed people!). It's been a little quieter than usual in this corner of the forum. How's everyone going?

@eth sounds like a big day for you. I love the steps you're taking carefully to get yourself out and around more. I hope it goes OK or better for you today.

@Angels333 you've been through a lot in the last while and it's great to hear you're feeling like you can get through it. I'm really sorry to hear about that your daughter is having a hard time. I feel so stuck sometimes when my kids are struggling.

@BryanaCamp it's good to see you around more. How have the last couple of days been? I find it hard to keep up here sometimes but am interested in hearing.

@Bunniekins I am missing your good morning posts here. Are you OK? Listening if it would help (not saying it will or that you need it, but here if you'd like).

I'm feeling a bit tired and drained this morning after a big day yesterday. I think it's a post stress crash maybe and a bit of a brain melt after needing to work hard to concentrate and be onto things for a good stretch of hours. I got through it though and am feeling proud of that. Hopefully I will be able to take some downtime over the next couple of days. I do have to make a trip into the big busy shops (probably the city) which I'm dreading. I'm so not a fan of big, busy places, especially ones I don't know. I'm waiting until the store opens to try and organise what I am getting before I go in to make it as quick and easy as possible. I think this would be where a support worker could be really helpful. Hoping one day soon the NDIS will actually be helpful for me in this way!

That's my rave for today. Sending ❤ to any/all and hoping there's good in the day for everyone.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear have a nice day.

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