FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

20,541 - 20,550 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Meowmy , you too.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning all 👋

Hugs @eth. It's hard when things get wonky with online/text based relationships. I wonder whether something has definitely been misconstrued and/or you've definitely been cut off. Is there a chance the other person has other reasons for not communicating right now? Have you directly spoken with them about it and your feelings at the moment? (That feels like a hundred million questions, sorry!) I find it can feel scary to do that but sometimes helpful.

Either way, sending some ❤ to you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for your reply @CheerBear I've tried to contact them twice. I won't do more than that because I don't want to risk them thinking I'm stalking them. They know where I am. It's hurting, but I guess it's just one of those situations where one just has to let go and create space for the other... I like the expression 'holding space' which is what I will now do about my connection with them. Dust myself off, pick myself up and carry on as best I can.

You're right, there could be some other reason for no contact, but I doubt it given the last thing they said to me.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

s back to you @CheerBear and @Exoplanet

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's good you've tried to contact them @eth. It shows you're wanting to work things out if there are things that need to be worked out, and that you're there for them. That's a great friend thing to do.

I too love that expression. We've been speaking about it a lot at my gig. The idea that we hold space for the people who use our service and our supervisors are there to create a holding space for us. I think we do and see it here on the forum lots too. Lovely way of thinking about things 😊

Hey @Exoplanet ❤ I spent time with puppies on the weekend. I'm still a cat person more than a dog person but they're testing that 😉

I'm trying to get myself up and moving for a Drs appointment then a family support worker here at home. I also have heaps of revision to do for my gig that really needs being done. I organised my desk yesterday and am hoping having that space tidied up will help me be productive with it 🤞

Better fly

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @eth I hear you about your loss of connection to this person and the difficult feelings you have around that. We do not know what is going on for someone else and there could be many reasons (as others have said) why this is happening for you. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you but more to do with that person but it is super hard not to take it personally. All you can do is leave the door open for that connection to be re-established in the future but in the meantime look after yourself throughout all this. That doesn't mean that it does not hurt but you need to be the priority here Hon. Much love and hugs to you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Zoe7 Hope you're recovering nicely by now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's getting there @eth I don't look like a chipmunk eating nuts anymore lol

How has your day been?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth @Zoe7 @CheerBear @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @BryanaCamp @Meowmy sorry if I have forgotten anyone.

I just wanted to say thanks for the support given over the last 6 weeks leading up to my admission and then the 4 weeks in hospital including an attempt on my life. Thanks for the support after discharge, particularly @eth 2 days ago I felt the world on my shoulders and SH was dominating me. I'm still so raw but today I have turned a corner and I think I can beat this thing for now. I'm giving myself a little dignity and saying no to SH. My psychologist was amazing yesterday encouraging me to take responsibility. I know it's only day 1 of feeling like I can control this thing, but I see my Psychiatrist tomorrow. And I am going to start DBT on the 24th June. I just need to hold off until then.

I think I mentioned it earlier in a post the my 16 yo daughter has started SH so it is crucial that I can demonstrate healing and positive coping strategies. It's quite emotional for me as I started SH at 16 too 28 years of it.

But mostly this post is a gratitude post to all my friends on the forum who haven't judged me but just offered support.

20,541 - 20,550 of 27,230