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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

My parents screamed at each other all the time - they scared us as children, & into adulthood.

I have a low tolerance for screaming & aggressive behaviour.

So I'm definitely with you there @eth

I'm with you in what you said too @Bunniekins

I may have a Date next weekend (through online dating), so we'll see how that goes. We haven't met yet.

She says she wants a muscular athletic man (I'm not, I'm slim) who's into dancing (I can't dance).

So I'm not sure if I will tick enough of her boxes (we'll see)....

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I really hope your date is a great success @Adge How brave of you to get out there!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth I appreciate that.

There aren't many other options (for meeting people), when not involved in lots of social groups etc.

I don't try online dating often, because of so many past disappointments.

I did meet some nice people through it, years ago.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

all good @eth i read and responded before your post was removed

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh wow @eth lots has happened. I can imagine it is putting lots of extra strain on you and his family. I would find that distressing as well. I hope the prn has some effect soon. I know you are in a really difficult situation currently. I wish your bro was there now, it really would help. I am blank with suggestions but know I’m here to listen. It deserves a long rant and rave. I hope giving it some air here helps a bit.

Hugs and peaceful thoughts 💜🤗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks a lot @Teej Nitey nite xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth If I was sil I would be kicking him out the door back to his equally hopeless girlfriend.. Nobody needs him around creating misery wherever he goes and maybe if he did have some harsher treatment he might stick to the detox instead of giving up. I have no sympathy for him at all all mine goes to you eth (and his cat) having to cope with this situation. ps: I am glad you are not cooking for him. He can learn to cook for himself..

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge Oh Adge I hope it works out for you :D. As long as you are honest I am sure your charming nature will shine through and she will forget all about her muscular dancing man of her dreams. It is what that is inside that counts most in any case. Does she tick all your boxes though? She better treat our finch right. Don't settle for second best and more so have fun and tell us all about it :Dxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning to @Mazarita @eth @Teej @outlander @Adge @BryanaCamp @Meowmy @Alacarte @Angels333 @CheerBear @Appleblossom @Sophia1 @Exoplanet and all who pass by today. I am sitting here thinking should I risk a drenching and go for a walk at 5am ..... big super cell apparently heading my way but you know what will happen murphy's law if I dont go no rain and if I do go I will end up a soggy pea .... what to do what to do??

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi and thanks @Bunniekins Being able to talk about it here really helps. As much as I love bro and sil and they love me, it is difficult for them to comprehend past trauma triggers, especially when some of them are from so long ago. My psychologist totally gets it, but she was away last week and will be away again tomorrow. Particularly bad timing what with this and the looming NDIS review meeting which is Thursday of next week, the day after I see her. She did do a comprehensive report before she went which is something of a relief, but I know how much she helps me cope and keep perspective and plan what to do if fears are realized. And we would usually go over her report together and tweak it where necessary before it was lodged with NDIS, which has to happen before the meeting.

I'm going to try to focus on something else today ... there is a live reading open mic night at the writers centre tonight and I'd like to get inspired to get up and read something I've written, but not sure what yet. Maybe an older poem as I've only written a couple this year. But also maybe a short story that I have an idea for since telling it to my bridge partner yesterday. She also writes and actually offered to mentor me - I've never had that before. It's really nice getting to know her better. She has so much experience as an actor and in literature - somewhat daunting that she's offered, but also a huge compliment. I've booked a support worker to go with me and this is the first time I've done that at night (first time I've been out at night without sil and bro in 2 1/2 years and I'd stopped going out at night for ages before I moved here too) - so wish me luck! I'm telling myself that cancelling is simply not an option, but performing is up to how I feel once I'm there. I went once with bro and to be honest some of the readings were pretty dreadful so I know it will really boost my confidence if I can do it, and also it's not a competition.

Hope you have some good stuff planned for today and that you've warmed up after your pre-dawn walk. Brrrrr!!

Good morning also to @Adge @outlander @Teej @Exoplanet @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @CheerBear @Shaz51 @Zoe7 hoping today has promise in it for you all.

@Mazarita feeling inspired by your taking your work out to the world in such a large way too. Lots of love xx

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