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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks @Meowmy just about to go now re walk hope your day goes okay oh @Bunniekins my last lot of walk pics got dumped by m ods claimed would identify me ??? was very vague pic of public building and pic of my place taken in pre dawn half light ba ha

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@TAB hope you walk was good. It is raining here. Just finished work. Having lunch then a short walk in sheltered places hopefully.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yeah was slack just did 20mins to make 1 hr total that’s good work finished. Brolly next time maybe? I used to carry one in backpack @Meowmy

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@TAB thanks for that. I am generally a bit better. Yesterday when my brother got home, I felt down at his sharp stuff but didn't crash into anxiety attack. Thanks. Talk soon. Going for walk now.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

evening @Meowmy @eth @TAB @Alacarte @Angels333 @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @CheerBear and all passing through

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @outlander just gone to bed here. Night

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

night @TAB sleep well

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth im so sorry youve been triggerred. boofhead sounds very stubborrn and arrogant when it comes to treatment and admitting they have a problem. i remember you having troubles before and can imagine your worries you may have, if you need to go anywhere he may be is there anyone you could take with you like your support worker or other friend/family member?
is there anything you could do to help resettle tonight?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I am so sorry that your post was taken down :o!!! I just wrote out a long reply and like magic it was gone ..... 😞 . Just what you needed after boofhead's return. What I wrote was I wish I was there with you to help you through this and tell you what I would do because I would not be allowed to say that online here unfortunately..

My dad was an alcoholic and it was terrifying living under the same roof as him. You have my sympathy and rant away maybe in code so it doesn't disappear again ....

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @greenpea @CheerBear @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @Faith-and-Hope @Teej @Zoe7 @Exoplanet @outlander and anyone else who keeps up with my posts.

soooooooooo I have a major challenge that's raised it's ugly head today amidst all the positive stuff. I caught sight of boofhead this afternoon in the vegie garden. (Sil's brother who I have talked a lot about a couple of weeks ago). He was meant to be doing a minimum of 3 weeks rehab for alcohol, after 3 days of emergency detox after nearly ..... - not for the first time. Sil had scraped him off the floor and taken him to emergency with dt's, heart fibrulation and other very dire symptoms. Her 2nd intervention this year. So when I saw him I hoped that it was just a day release visit. It's not. He has checked himself out after not even 2 weeks.

This brings up so many concerns for me. Firstly he has had an aggro go at me before they went away, so feels like a direct and unpredictable threat living next door. Secondly, just sighting him gives me trauma memories from significant events in my past.

And a discussion with sil this evening has told me that he is still being a big-noting narcissist who thinks he is bullet-proof and can continue to drink when he wants to. Total denial. He thinks he can go back to work as a nurse of all things. I'm hoping the rehab place has followed through with reporting him to the nursing board if he didn't complete at least the 3 week program. And that he shoots through to his co-drinking girlfriend and out of my immediate environment. Might be selfish of me but so be it.

I could go on some more but I think the picture is clear.

Damn!!! I don't need someone living so close who I need such big boundaries and self-protection from. Feeling quite triggered tonight despite having a prn that I rarely use. I have told my sister how it is for me and she seems to understand, but is no longer my carer because of his needs and the burden he is putting on her elderly, unwell mother who is living next door and giving him a home, financial management and much more. And my bro is away for another week so cannot be the buffer I need.

I'd like to say rant over but I may need to talk it out more before long. Thanks for reading this far.

Post Edited, fair enough reasons @Former-Member I should know by now. Sometimes I'm flared up and forget to choose my words carefully enough.

Thanks for your replies @Bunniekins and @outlander I'm very sorry if I triggered anyone else.

@outlander my cabin is my refuge and haven. So far he's never come to my door. I told sil that when I cook to share I don't want to involve him and she's cool about that. I said I don't want any sort of relationship with him and would need boundaries about any contact with him. So I'll just cook for me, bro and sil once a week for the time being, not the whole clan. If I had to get away from here I don't know where I'd go. I don't have that sort of friendships here yet. And no support workers that I could get at short notice. It's good that you ask me - I'll try to think of a plan.

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