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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@BryanaCamp Hi BryanaCamp my neighbour is with son after her operation on Friday so the pea has to go by herself for the next 5-6 weeks. I just make sure I say good morning to as many people as possible lol. It is much nicer with her. Son2 likes to go on Thursdays as it is a free day for him so that is nice. Haven't heard anything about her daughter and I probably wont until she gets back .... How are you going? Have you got any hikes planned for this week?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending your neighbour good vibes for a speedy and good recovery @Bunniekins It's great the people you see on walks are friendly - I like that cameraderie of fellow walkers, it's nice to have a sense of community. I talk to dog owners on my park walks 'cos I can't resist a cute doggy.

No hikes planned atm, got a coupla things on my mind. I've decided to not see my abusive mother tonight as I can't take any more interactions with her, gotta put myself first. So I don't know if she'll try to frantically hassle me a lot & I'll have a bad reaction to that. Then after that I have an icky appointment tomorrow where I need to perform well. So I'll see how I feel after that. WHat's on the vegan menu today? I so admire your comittment

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@BryanaCamp am sorry you have a problem parent .... the damage they do and they canpt even see it..... Vegan diet is going well thanks since I have given up the choccy basically I had baked beans this morning with vegan cheese, lunch porridge with almonds, cashews, almond milk and a pear, tonight a salad :). How healthy is that! What I would like is a platter of cheese with assorted dry fruits and bread and crackers with a couple of glasses of red and a half corona cigar 😄

ps: sorry about your ikky appointment I hope it goes okay for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks for your support, it's sweet. wow that's sooo healthy @Bunniekins and very light meals. Just a salad tonight? You're so strong to be able to stick to it, well done. Yeah I'm totally with you on the cheese platter, yum! My cholesterol is a little elevated from meds so I've cut out cheese for now but boy does it go well with red wine & crackers. I'd also like a big, warm bowl of sticky date pudding with the hot, caramel sauce!! well I never, little greenpea is cigar toting?!? thanks for making me laugh

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@BryanaCamp :Dxx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth @Congratulations to great weekend achievement and bridge practices. So great that you are doing so well. Take care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@BryanaCamp So great your achievements in hiking. Sorry about your mother. I suffer first hand from the traumas of my late father, so totally understand. We have to overcome so much negative stuff that built up in our upbringings. But we have do it bit by bit. Hope your appointment go well. Prayers in that direction. Take good care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Meowmy @BryanaCamp @Exoplanet @Bunniekins

Good to see you chatting.

@eth Lovely that the weekend went well with the right level of social stuff.

I was at the zoo, I am anxious about how the social stuff is going, becasue I have had too much rejection or being bulldozed in the past, but I keep having a go. Had a few lovely interactions with 2 young men. Just nice to be remembered, and talk a little without excessive competitiveness or stand offishness due to being from diff generation or social grouping ...

I am alright but feeling very delicate.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom I know what you mean Appleblossom I am not the best socially. I used to be but now I am awkward and really have nothing much to say except to those closest but making small talk is impossible for me ..... I am happy that you found a couple of nice like minded, young men to talk to :)xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom Hope you have a nice evening. Be kind to yourself and nurture. Take care.

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