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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Zoe7 I had a full-on bridge lesson again all morning, having been up since 5.30, so I was brain fried this afternoon and have spent most of it resting before coming on here. I have a list of stuff that needs doing but will leave it til tomorrow now. Sil and I are going to do dinner together when she gets home. Chicken bolognese and zucchini noodles.

Enjoy snuggling up with Toby. I've already got my pseudo-ugg boots on. Feels like it's gonna be another cold one.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh golly gosh @Angels333 hope it goes well. I have memories of visiting people taking them rollies buying them cake well and getting lied to. Poor buggers. Anyway hope you’re okay

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Angels333 Hope hospital stay get you some rest ,support and care. Painting is a good idea. It is a good place to work out a lot of internal issues. Wish you a good stay. Take care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I have a lot of things that I need to do too that I didn't get to over the weekend @eth but most will have to wait until tomorrow night and Wednesday now. One of those things I have been putting off is mowing the backyard so very much hoping it doesn't rain over the next couple of days. Tomorrow is my late night at work so won't be home before it gets dark to do it.

It is not super cold here tonight but will no doubt need the heater on soon as it gets darker - and colder - into the night. Jammies already on here and fur babies fed so settling in for the night now. Going to have chicken myself tonight but in a stir fry - quick and simple to make and will leave enough for tomorrow night too.

When does you bridge partner leave for her OS few months away?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 it does sound like your day was full-on, no wonder you're tired tonight. And another big one for you tomorrow. Self-care is so important.

I learned a new (very old) word recently - perendinate - put off until after tomorrow! That will be both of us I think.

My partner is going in July for 3 months. Hoping we can consolidate our skills well before then, but I think I'll need to do it regularly while she's away to keep my hand in (and my memory active). I tend to lose skills rather quickly these days if not using them.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Can you partner with someone else whilst she is away @eth or do you get used to one person and can only really play with them. Sorry don't know much about Bridge or the way it works in partnerships!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 there's a small group of us that are going to start practising weekly so hopefully that will continue. I'm not sure about asking someone to partner with me for just that period of time as I do want to continue with the same one when she gets back. Might also be able to practice with sil's mum next door. Now that I actually know (or have had lessons on!) most of the rules I'd be better able to play with her. She's a serious competitor who's been playing for years so I know I'd learn a lot more from her if she has the patience to play with me. We'll see is the short answer to your question!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It is nice to have your SIL's mother to practice with @eth Sounds like you really could learn a lot from her and that will be great when your partner comes back. 3 months will fly by and she will be back before you know it

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@TAB lol rollies and cake oh my! I hope I don't start telling lies.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Haha sure I was a soft touch @Angels333 no matter. They have passed now and my own standards have dropped re work and earn
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