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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am so angry with my son he has afterpays under my account and has not been paying them, so they have been coming out of my account its nearly$200 now, which was suppose to be for my water and gas and food bill. I have texted him, messaged him and he is ignoring me and wont answer his phone, my feelings are so strong that i just want to ring his neck cause he doesn't care and says i still have money in the bank, with his Autism you can't reason with him, he just sees it like because i have money still in the bank, i can pay them and hes not in the wrong, im trying to calm down but nothing is working and i dont know what to do. I have an inspection on Wednesday and now cant buy the cleaning stuff i need to do the house properly, imat my witts end.

@Angels333 @Mazarita @Bunniekins @Exoplanet @eth @Former-Member @Adge @Shaz51 @Owlunar

@Appleblossom @Former-Member @Meowmy @Zoe7 @Determined @Ali11 @TAB @CheerBear

@MDT @BlueBay @Smc

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's tough @saturnzoon
Im not how to deal with autism and this sort of thing so I'm well out of order to suggest anything that could work.
I see why you'd be angry though.
I think maybe make it clear that it's not "his money" to spend? What sort of access to your own money to let him have?
I found that getting my own account was a good way of preventing this stuff with my parents. Sometimes they would borrow money from my account that I was using but then I went to get a new one for myself. Has he got his own account?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sounds like you need someone to explain to him what you are going to do ie cancel his arrangements through your account and he will be liable for overdue fees etc or just close your account so he he has no access to it

or get a 3rd party to sort it, but it cant come out of your account @saturnzoon my 2c worth anyway hope you get it sorted

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon Hi saturnzoon this afterpay sounds like a nasty device to get more and more money out of people. I have never used it myself and I wont after hearing about your troubles with it. Is there anyway you can contact the shop/s where he purchased the product/s and return them? If not cancel his access to your account. I have to ask why does he have access to your account? I can feel your frustration it must be more than annoying to be in this predicament (I have an autistic son and a aspie daughter). greenpeaxxxx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth @Hello , hope you had a good morning. I just came home from work. I am feeling better on new meds. Not shaking and desperate as before. Hope to relax in the afternoon and get some housework done and may be go swimming. Wish you a great afternoon. Take care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@saturnzoon @Hope you will work out a solution with your son. It is not good that his behaves poorly at your place. Communication is not easy. Best of luck. Take care.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @saturnzoon That is so hard as I know this has been an ongoing issue between you and your son for some time. You have had that added pressure of bills that you need to pay and I remember you having issues with your agent about this also. I am going to suggest that you think about opeing a new bank account that your son has no access to. It will take a little organising but if he does not know about it and has no access at all then you can transfer you bills to that account. It is something practial that you can do to 'cut him off' and regain control over your own money.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Exoplanet nice that you did hear from your daughter yesterday. Don't worry about not feeling chatty - happens to all of us sometimes. Take care x

Hi @saturnzoon sorry to hear the situation with your son and $$ continues. I agree with the suggestions that other people have made in terms of making it impossible for his creditors to get to your money.

Hi @Meowmy glad to hear you're feeling a bit better. Adjusting to different meds/doses can be a real roller coaster. I've been on it many times. Hope the improvements continue.

Hi @Bunniekins @Zoe7 @MDT

Hope the evening is a peaceful one for all.

Especially thinking of you @Angels333 sorry to hear about your brother. Hope you dodged the panic this morning and are now settled in at hospital and feeling well supported and safe there.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hi Hon. Been a very big day for me but it went quite quickly. As usual I am glad to be home and having some forum and Toby snuggle time. How was your day?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @saturnzoon @Bunniekins @eth @Meowmy @TAB

I'm all admitted. I managed to get a little nap in this afternoon. I have my own room and I brought my easel along to do some painting. I'm in for three weeks. I feel guilty for leaving the family to come in.

I have already dropped one med and I start reducing another tomorrow Oh the anticipation!

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