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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Meowmy that's why it's so wonderful to have the forums and the special friendships we form here. Even tho' it's anonymous we are all real people. I had a few months with no computer access when I first came here and I felt much more isolated without the forums. But it will also be healthy for me to have some new friends irl in the town I now live in over time.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth - sorry to hear of this frustration! Just to let you know it wasn't to do with guidelines or moderation. It looks like, as @CheerBear mentioned, the site went down for a short moment yesterday which must have impacted your posting. Sorry about that, thanks for posting again! ⭐️

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member thanks. Actually it was at least an hour at my end. Very frustrating. Glad to see it's back to normal today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh an hour! That shouldn't have been the case - thanks for higlighting, we are going let our tech team know and investigate. So sorry for the frustrations!

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins So great to hear of your goal to do the fun run. I struggle walking up all the steps at school so would not even consider walking that far. I really hope your sw can do it with you too - that would be an awesome thing to have a partner to encourage and inspire each other.

You have certainly had a busy week @eth So glad you are loving your new decor ...and finally got those baskets for under your bed It is a shame your bridge partner will be away for a few months - just when you are really getting into it too Really happy that your bro and sil will be back tonight - I cannot believe it has already been a month - that time has seemed to fly by It will certainly help you feel more at ease and safer again though. I am glad that boofhead has kept his distance while they have been away - I know how much of a concern that has been for you.

@CheerBear Much love and hugs to you too Hon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So I stuffed up today!
At work we have a facebook group where we post info on shifts needing covered. Anyway there was a post for tonight's learn to swim shift starting at 3.30 going until 8pm. I misread the post and I thought it said Monday. I checked with my son who is also a swim instructor and lined him up for Monday. So of course no one turned up for the shift and it was a real scramble to find staff at the last minute.
Anyway I think my brain is fried over going into hospital. It just makes me look more incompetent than I actually am.
Blergh what a day 😭

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh @Angels333 These things happen Hon and it all got sorted so don't be hard on yourself. I am sure that it will be forgotten quickly and you can put today behind you. Concentrate now on Monday - getting through the weekend and getting everything sorted before you go into hospital that you need to do. Hugs Hon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7 hope you've got a quiet weekend lined up after your busy week. How did the presentation night go?

I'm heading over to the friday feast for a while if you're around tonight.

@Angels333 Forgive yourself for the mix-up at work. Hope your weekend goes smoothly and you feel ready for Monday.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Not so quiet @eth My sister wants me to go to the market with her tomorrow but it depends how I feel in the morning. She doesn't want me to go if I am too tired soI will see how I feel in the morning. We are going to have lunch for Mother's Day ather place also so not a lot of travelling for me this year - and I can take Toby so that is a bonus.

The presentation ceremony went well. I talked to a couple of people before the actual awards were presented and then left staright afterwards. I was very tired so didn't hang around. I made an appearance though so that was good. Unbeknowns to me they named the panelists - I would much rather they hadn't - I thought it was anonymous so was a little thrown when that happened. Luckily only a few people knew who I was so it was okay.

How was your day?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I don't do FF - too much for me at the end of the week. Enjoy your feast

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