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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

On the other side of Bass Strait we are having wind and it rained earlier. @Zoe7

I have just raised a sweat doing cleaning jobs. Yay functional exercise!

I know what you mean about needing to get out of shops. I hate them, had my first real adult panic attacks in them. Shops dont figure much in my life anymore, though I have done a stint in retail. Even at the zoo ... I sympathise and suggest struggling mums get kids out of zoo through the shopping free exit turnstile ... which is not obvious tho the village trader flush with plush is!

Yes it was good with those kids yesterday, and confirmed to me, that I was good with kids and still am!

That the problems with mine has more to do with broader family dynamics and a rainge of issues than me, my personality or skills and style. It is not that I dont take responsiblity, but it has taken me to get to almost 60 to figure out about flying monkeys and what is not my circus and what is.... in @Faith-and-Hope speak. The cost to my loved ones and ME has been huge, and the outcomes are very sad, but in a dog eat dog world that can happen... no longer so naive ...

Still my budding grand bub and grown kids are out on a job together and hugging ... so thats really nice.

Vegan - tofu veg, walnut & peanutbutter tonight ... then off to orch rehearsal... always lovely ... lucky I get so many.... its been 6 in last fortnight ... plus 2 concerts.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

🤗💕 @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It is great that you have your music @Appleblossom Something to maintain your interest and social connections while doing what you enjoy

There seemed to be a lot of people around in the supermarket today - more than I am used to - so I got out of there pretty quickly. I also need to go to the chemist but like the rest of the shopping - that is not essential and can wait a couple of days. I will most likely do all that Sunday before I go back to work.

Families are indeed difficult but we have to navigate those dynmanics to do the best we can. Hearing you how hard it is though

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Zoe7 and different family's and individuals have different levels of difficulty. Not wanting to quote Tolstoy or anyone ...

context and access to social and material resources means a lot... we should never just assume ...

Kids just wanted to plan dinner together tonight which is lovely.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes all families have their own levels of difficulty @Appleblossom and what one family may deal with successfully another might find challenging - it has so much to do with the support and knowledge within the family structure. Sometimes that support is needed from the outside as well.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom thanks Appleblossom :)xxxx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom

Hi everyone.

The surgery wound is all healed up, after many weeks.

I went back to work on Wednesday.

It's been a struggle, because my energy levels are still very low (not picking up).

Work made no efforts to "ease me back in gently" - even though I've returned from major surgery recovery.

They put me with their most "challenging behaviour" (aggressive) clients straight away.

No rest for the wicked (if that's me), & no reward for Goodness either...

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Adge, sorry to hear about work! It's still quite rare to find employers that will be understanding and caring when you have health issues, it's disappointing Glad you're healing though

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is disappointing for you @Adge It would have been much better for you to be eased back in. Glad your wound has healed up - that took so long with all the complications.

You will struggle with energy at work for a while after being off for as long as you have but hopefully you will start to get a little more energy the more you are there. Take it easy this weekend Adge.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Ali11 Much appreciated.

My disability work is emotionally draining & thankless, at the best of times.

It's so hard to Give, give, give to other people - whilst living on one's own, without adequate personal support.

And needing nurturing myself....

Adge

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