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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hi eth what are those 'several things' that you keep procrastinating about?:)

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is a bugger about the rug @eth but keeping your eye out for a new one for yourself sounds like a good thing to do.

Nothing planned for today. It is very cold - windy and raining as well - so an inside day. There are some things I need to get done but no motivation to do them still. Will most likely have a sleep again this morning to catch up on a bad night so apart from that nothing specifically planned.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Bunniekins How are you today?

Weeellllll...go thru our seed boxes and pick out suitable ones for late autumn/winter and plant them, get on the exercise bike (missed a day yesterday), mow the lawn if I can operate the electric mower here, take out compost and recycling, and the one I've put off for the longest - catch up on filing and diary of NDIS supports received. Clean the rug I had in here before, change and wash sheets .... !!!! Now that boofhead has pulled his head in I'm really enjoying having a couple of days at home despite being alone. Just relaxing. Will probably catch up on MKR on my laptop. I feel like I'm coming down to earth after a couple of weeks of constant high adrenalin and hypervigilance (especially auditory).

LOL you know you're not awake and switched on yet when ..... you light the wrong end of your cigarette! (me!)

What will you do with your quiet day today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry @Zoe7 just saw your post. Hope you get some more rest. You are probably wanting to relax as much as possible over these last few days of your school holidays. Send some of that rain down here please. We've had none for nearly 2 weeks and there's none forecast for at least another week here. The garden would really love it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

We haven't had any rain for a couple of weeks either @eth so the garden is needing it here too. I did want to get out in the garden these holidays but I have not been motivted to get out there. Most of the holidays have been either attending appointments or resting/sleeping. I do need to find the motivation to get a few things done before I head back to work on Monday but finding that hard to do.

Hope you have a good day today and enjoy your new cabin 'look'

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth all of that sounds like a lovely constructive day ahead even if you just sit down and watch mkr :D! I have just been out in the back yard (it is a kind of a paved courtyard with bushs around it). Pulled out some grass which had been annoying me and have just put on a load of washing which I will hang out in a minute.Have a lovely day with whatever you get done or not 🙂 xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins exercise bike done! And motivation improved by doing it. I did some weeding too.

Hope you find some rest time today ahead of your busy weekend.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth You too! xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins Hey I was up before my alarm went off today ... rain and cat calling .... but I stayed in ... love your talks about your morning walks.

@Zoe7 Hugs and more hugs and rest.

@eth Good you are taking ownership of your personal space. You will find something fine to put on floor. Yay boofhead is pulling head in. I am sure that help other people in future.

@Angels333 Ahh ... the complications of mutual messes, creativity and co-operative decision making is HUGE and big part of mumming.

After a while, if I have not been able to engage co-operatively, I make more of the decisions, erring on saving in an archive, and sort space to suit self. That said my own current desk mess is purely of my own making. I think part of my resistance to tidying, is exhaustion about being unappreciatd as a general tidier and subject to a lot of parental alienation games from other parent. Its kinda like ... its my party and I'll cry if I want to ... its my mess and I'll tidy when I want to. It is honestly taking a few years... I have a more active desk in my lounge ... which was the old storage box lounge table ... I keep it mildly messy but under control, since I no longer have to keep my lounge as a professional workspace ... ie piano teaching studio. I am being sullen teenager that I NEVER was as a teen.

Slowly coming to terms with different roles and expectations at different ages.

Had a great day at zoo, especially chatting to a group of 4 kids and mum. It helps me deal with my feelings about the situations with my own children.

@Adge Is your surgery settling? How are you going in general?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Been out to the shop @Appleblossom but didn't get everything I needed. I really just wanted to get out of there but those extra things I need can wait a few days - have enough food for myself and my fur babies for the next couple of days at least.

Home again now snuggled up on the couch with Toby watching a very old movie on tv. Will probably have another sleep this afternoon. Definitely the weather to be staying inside and snuggling in with the doona with the heater on - very cold today and still raining on and off.

It was nice to resd about your positive interactions at the zoo - those little things make it worthwhile

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