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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I didn't really like your initial reply about sorry and hope to my qualms with everything @Bunniekins I'm not happy about what the mhs.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eudemonism sorry eudemonism I meant it as a compliment. I apologise if I have offended you in anyway.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita It was great to hear from you and to hear you are still going well. Terrific your creativity is flourishing and well respected. I did not mean "moving on" in a bad way, its good to know you still feel connected to this community. It certainly has been a journey and wonderful to feel long term connections. Hugs

@Bunniekins

@Angels333 A clean art desk sounds wonderful. Til you make mess again ... ?

@eudemonism

We all do what we can.

Your social life is amazing now @eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Busy in here today, it's great to see so many people supporting and helping each other. @eth your schedule sounds active, it's great that you can get out to experience all of those activities each week. You mentioned it's taken a while to get to that point, which I thought is a good reminder for all of us. Changes take time, and even making one change a month will add up to a lot of changes in your routine and life over two years

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Angels333 @Appleblossom @Zoe7 @Bunniekins @CheerBear

Thanks for the feedback. Those posts really helped me recognize today how far I've come. It was a really good day at home for me today, all quiet next door too which is great. I built the shelves without any problems and have now completed the new look in my cabin. Feels great. So much less chaotic and I know that will be good for my MH too. I would share photos if I knew how to upload them.

Hope today has been one of the better ones for you all.

Thanks to you too @Ali11 just saw your post.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Ali11 Hi Ali11 you are right making small changes little by little end up being big changes for the better 🙂 I think also reminding ourselves that we might slip up along the way but that is okay too just brush ourselves off and try again.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I am sure the shelves look great and will be super functional for you too. Ali11 is right what you are doing inspires the pea forward even though she just wants to sit inside her pea shell 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So true @Bunniekins sometimes it's even 3 steps forward and 4 backward but if we can get out there and try again it seems to take less time to repeat the 3 steps forward the next time around. At least that's what I'm finding, especially when it comes to using a Shebah ride or catching a bus - still can't do the latter alone but am getting closer in baby steps. And I'm using Shebah again now that they've fixed their advance booking set up on their phone app. Took a break from that for quite a while and it feels great to be doing it again.

It means a lot to me that you say you're inspired. If my experiences can help even one other person then all the effort is worthwhile. And I still couldn't do what you do with going for your walks every day. I can barely make it half way around the block and that's when I know the sw is coming in the other direction and I have my phone in my hand. But that's more than I could do a month ago - like I said, baby steps.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom , yes clean art desk sounds good sadly I didn't get to it today, hopfully tomorrow I'm hoping I can find the motivation .

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Angels333 Oh well. There is always tomorrow. My desk wont get tidied for a few weeks.

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