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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @CheerBear that's fantastic the way the car thing worked out. I'm happy for you and that you have supportive parents. You'll be able to have some adventures in an suv. I've had 3 over the years and absolutely loved them. What are you and the kids up to today?

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth A little bit crazy 😮 have son2 sitting on the floor next to me talking non stop .... public holidays are so hard on him as he likes visits to the local shops for treats and everything is shut here or not open till after 1. Makes life very interesting to say the least 🙂

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You'll get it done @eth I would do the top and bottom shelves first to keep it straight and then slide the middle shelves into place. Don't screw all the screws in tight until you have all shelves in place - then you have a little give with the frame. You got this

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins I know you'll manage til then - only 1hr10min to go (if we're in the same time zone). Are there any games he likes? Or would he enjoy making some bikkies or something with you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 it looks like it has 3 horizontal struts that go on first to make the frame. I reckon I'll be cool with it too - just have to make a start! It's less complicated than things I've built in the past, but that was decades ago! Good idea about the screws thanks.

@Zoe7 @Bunniekins @CheerBear how nice that we're all here at the same time. Too rare.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

We support each other @eth (one is my 'unwell person'). We are very lucky to have their support though 🙂 I've never had a car that's anything like this one and am really looking forward to adventures 😊

Not much on today for us. I have a bonkers week coming up and will enjoy the quieter day while I have the chance, probably with some crochet I think. Kids are tired after their dawn start so they're all movie watching.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You will no doubt get it put together pretty easily @eth.

Hi @Bunniekins @CheerBear Hope we all have a good day

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth eth you are very wise I should have prepared myself for this and got ingredients to make anzac bikkies .... didn't even think of it . I used to do alot of cooking like that with the kids when they were little but as they grew older I have forgotten these skills. I will place it in the order for next weekend that he is at home 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Hi Zoe7! :Dxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sounds peaceful @CheerBear Very sorry to hear your unwell one is one of your parents.

We all need quiet days sometimes. As of Saturday I'm out 5 days in a row, possibly 7. So I know about bonkers! I keep telling myself that some of those are for activities I really enjoy, especially water tai chi starting again Tuesday.

Hope it's peaceful enough for all of us.

@Zoe7 @Bunniekins

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