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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I have my pdoc appointment this morning then will spend some time with daughter. Will be a quiet one washing and sitting out in the sunshine. It looks beautiful here today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Beautiful here today too @Bunniekins Sun shining on a lovely fresh garden after early morning rain. Lots of birds today.

So far I've washed the dishes and taken all the compost out. Will put away washing next and want to do the floor too. I always am more relaxed with a visitor if I do a few things to tidy up before they come.

Really looking forward to seeing my sister.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A lon@g rave

@eth Am so pleased she is coming to stay with you :):) That will make such a difference for you and make it very special just you and her. How long will she be staying for?

In response to: Re: A lon@g rave

Re: A lon@g rave

We'll only have 2 full days @Bunniekins . She arrives around 9 tonight and leaves around 4.30am Saturday. She has a very busy cafe in Brisbane which I'd love to tout here but anonymity ... They win awards.

In response to: Re: A lon@g rave

Re: A lon@g rave

@eth obviously cooking is in the genes :).

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Last night I was not totally with it at choir. When socialising, I felt amazingly "normal", I had enough friendly people I could smile at or talk with ... but when one lady came up I kept getting my words all wrong ... the mouth and mind not quite lining up .... but none of the fear, exclusion and then later resent ... about all the nice middle class people being mean (part of my life for 40 years) ... so maybe I am shedding some of my baggage and losing some fear and gaining some skill ... had a good chat coming home ... giving lady a lift.

My problem with baggae was that I was accused of having baggage and the pdoc did not want me to talk about it or work through it ... my mindset was full of ... how I was used to travelling the world ... light ... I did not get his use of the term ... and I still do not really like it ...

I just received an email from an old friend who remembered an afternoon lunch with my 2 sisters, mum and I. back when we were all harmonious. It was nice to remember it and hear her gratitude. She was from a well to do family but not arrogant. She was travelling here and I put her and then later her little brother up ... so they could see the sights.

Am in denial about my car probs ... so sick and tired of being responsible ... did not take it in tho had it booke inn ..still got to sort it but in the meantime my son has a chauffeuring request. sigh ...

I start a big spag bol ... as sometimes cooking calms me down.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth. I’m still around, just haven’t been very vocal of late. I haven’t been in a very good space lately. Have been under a lot of stress and have found it a little difficult to cope. I have been trying to touch base with the forums, I’m kind of lurking in the back ground. I’ll be ok, thanks for thinking of me ❤️❤️

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Razzle great seeing you Razzle :). Take good care of yourself won't you. Love greenpea xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Nice to hear from you @Razzle Hope things get easier for you soon.

Hi @Appleblossom

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Adge

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