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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Will head up the road to cafe with daughter. Have an awful meeting with ndis at the end of the week which I don't feel I am up for. I want to curl up into bed with the covers over my head. So over it. I think it is purposely done so that you are so beaten up by the system you just give up and accept whatever they dish out for you. Anyway it is what it is I will see how I feel come Thursday.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

From everything that I have heard about the system it really seems to be hard to navigate @Bunniekins It certainly doesn't make help for those that really need it easy. I feel for you Hon and hope it goes okay for you. I know it is hard not to get really anxious about it but there is nothing more you can do until you get there and then tsckle whatever comes. I think I have lernt a lot better ways to deal with upcoming things that I used to and part of that is taken each day as it comes and getting through one day at a time. After all that is all we can really do.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 You are right I shouldn't stress about stuff that hasn't happened yet. It is hard though but I will take your advice on board funnily enough it is always what my mother says and she is very wise as times 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I know it is easier said than done @Bunniekins and it has taken me a lot of time and practice to be able to do that with some things. Your mum is indeed a wise woman - we can only control what we do and all those things external to us are in others' hands - those are things we have to tackle as we come across them as we have no idea how others will behave or think. ...and when it comes to the NDIS I suspect that is very much the case for you. I do hope it is an easier meeting than you anticipate and everything works out for you Hon

PS: the up side of me being up so early these last few days is that I have got to interact with you - and that makes it worthwhile - silver linings hey!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Thanks Zoe7 you are such a kind and lovely person :):)xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

awww little pea - I fee exactly the same about you @Bunniekins 😍💐

Do you have plans for Easter?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 yes son2 will be going out with carer on Saturday which is great for him and daughter and me (otherwise it will be a loooonnnngggg weekend lol). I have my ex coming up on his motorbike for a visit so hopefully he will take me out for a ride which would be great. I do love having a pillion ride up the freeway. Gets the cob webs out of the pea's mind and resets it :). I have bought many eggs for son2 to find on Friday as even though he is 24 he still loves looking for eggs (he is such a funny guy) :).

I won't be travelling anywhere so to speak as the traffic is always so awful and just stresses the pea out>

Have you got anything planned?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That all sounds like a wonderful Easter for you @Bunniekins I love that son2 still loves the easter egg hunt - it brings just a little bit of magic to the time

I hope you get your ride with your ex in as well. I am not big on motor bikes - had a friend who died on one and never really got over that.I would much rather be safe in a car but I get the freedom that comes with riding a bike and appreciate it is something that many people love.

No set plans for Easter. The family will most likely have lunch together on Sunday but that also depends if my parents have any horses rcing on that day. I don't keep up with that area of their lives - hate horse racing which makes it very difficult when that is all they want to talk about most times we are together.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 I better go an hang out the washing and do the washing up etc. great talking with you Zoe7. I will be around at Easter so hopefully we will be able to catch up during that time :). Have a wonderful day. Love greenpea xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You have a wonderful day too little pea. Remember the future is uncertain but we have control over how we deal with it. Love and hugs @Bunniekins

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