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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7 @Appleblossom @Adge @BryanaCamp @Bunniekins

Hope your energy picks up in the next few days @Adge .

@Appleblossom I didn't even know that 'Orange People' was still a thing. I remember them well from the early 80's. Got involved in the 'Golden Aeroplane Game' with them in Sydney. It was a pyramid scheme that incorporated massive parties and mostly new agey types of people. Lots of money made by a small minority of those involved.

@BryanaCamp Well done you for going yesterday and being clear about your needs. Sounds like you have a really good new friend.

@Bunniekins your walk sounds lovely

@Zoe7 hope you had a nice restful day without a headache

I had one of those moments at the end of bridge where one of the men was talking to/at me, telling long and winding stories (kinda had me cornered) and really got in my personal space. Every time I took a step back he took a step forward. I hate that and it really agitated me for some time afterwards. But also made me aware that I'm more easily triggered when my baseline anxiety is running high as it is at the moment. Will have to monitor that. Have slept worse than usual the last 2 nights (since the others left) - mostly only an hour at a time - so monitoring that too. Really don't want to be triggered into a bipolar swing while I'm here by myself (or ever).

My computer battery is only charging to 86% and then says 'plugged in, not charging' so I'm not trusting that it's not about to pack it in. Keeping it plugged in all the time when I use it. Don't know if it means I need a new battery or charger or what. So if I stop posting it will be because something has happened with computer access.

Take care all. Eth xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Zoe7 and @Adge how are you both travelling tonight?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just read about your earlier encounter @eth - that is tough to deal with. Some people just don't get personal space and we can certainly feel triggered in those uncomfortable situations. Look after yourself tonight Hon.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for getting it @Zoe7 . I think my personal space boundaries are a bit wider than some people's because of events in my past. But also some folk just don't realise they're getting too close. Too busy pushing their own stuff.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander how are you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think there are a lot of us here that have that personal space issue @eth It is certainly something that some with a trauma background have difficulties with - and some people just don't get that there should be that distance.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

True that @Zoe7 . What did you end up getting up to today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

A slow day until this afternoon when I had to pick up my mum and sister from the airport @eth Now snuggling on the couch with Toby.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Nice @Zoe7 . My sister is flying down Wednesday night to visit me for a couple of days. Really looking forward to seeing her. It will be the first time she and I have hung out without anyone else in our whole adult lives. We've become closer the last couple of years mostly through phone chats.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Goodnight all. Sleep well and wake rested xx

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