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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Bunniekins (love getting your morning messages 😊), @TAB, @eth, @Zoe7 and all 👋

Really cold here this morning @Bunniekins. My toes were aching! It's a lovely sunny morning now though and I'm looking forward to high teen weather after some grey and gloomy days.

@eth thinking of you and hoping you're OK enough. @Zoe7 also caught that you haven't been feeling well and hope your day goes OK. Two to go now!

We're off to get my Middle's arm sorted today. They're excited as we are taking their best friend with us to pass the time at the hospital then we're off to lunch as a treat. Pain in the butt to have a broken arm during holidays especially as we are away, but they're coping OK enough.

👋 and ❤ to all. Hoping there's some good in the day 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear Awww thanks CheerBear you have a great day :)

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thinking of you and sending get better wishes @Zoe7 and @Appleblossom .

Have a wonderful holiday @CheerBear

Hope you are recovering well by now @Adge haven't heard from you for a few days it seems.

Good morning to everyone here.

@Bunniekins @Exoplanet @outlander @Shaz51 @Teej @Faith-and-Hope

Cancelled my plan to have a visitor here to practice bridge today. Just need a day of peace after yesterday and the night before. No way I could concentrate on doing the homework, let alone playing. But can't dodge a meeting with my coordinator of supports this afternoon. At least I will find out the details of the support worker change, plus she is bringing me a list of numbers I can use if I need to while the others are away. And she said she's organized for someone from her organisation to give me a call to see how I'm going every day. So that's another good support to add to the safety net.

Also spoke to my sister last night who lives in another state, told her what's happened, and she said she'll come for a few days next week and then again before the others return.
All in all this episode with sil's bro did trigger me more than anything has for about 3 years, but the outcomes since have totally proven that I AM supported, people DO have my back, both here and in real life. That is such a difference from the decades before - when I tried to say it to my sister last night it really filled me up with emotion, but in a positive way. I'm glad I've still got my wits about me enough to make the realisation. And so far all the stress has not triggered a bipolar mood swing, touch wood.

Thanks again for the support here to all those who gave it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth I was so sorry to hear about that obnoxious person scaring you - he would scare me too.

I have major reactions to aggressive behaviour (& people), it badly triggers me - understandable, having CPTSD from childhood abuse.

I'm healing up (slowly), getting there thanks.

Surgeon said not to go to my yoga classes yet (I miss yoga).

Yoga breaks for the school holidays, at the end of this week - so I won't be able to go now, for another 3 weeks.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Adge I have CPTSD too so it means a lot to me that you get how I felt/feel. Turns out that he will be staying for the month so all the support here will be much appreciated.

Sorry to hear about you not being able to do your yoga yet, but being out of the woods on your recovery journey by the time you get back to it could be for the best.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hi @eth sorry to hear you had that very frightening shock. Good luck with your support meeting this afternoon, hope it goes smoothly & leaves you feeling more sorted & informed. Sounds like you have an incredible support network near you which must have taken a lot of work to develop, well done you. Thinking of you

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dear @eth , like you & the others, I don't like this situation your in. The fact that it's known he's been drinking & heavily is the biggest worry. I've been there, in a way I feel sorry for him, it's not a nice place to be; but it is a dangerous one. I'm glad you have so many supports in place, please don't hesitate in using them. Love you Eth

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry to hear that he will be there for month you need to take care of things. @eth

@Adge Great to see you popping in. Yes I know boomin voices are not all male. I grew up on a rough housing estate. My god the girls could yell and boss and kick and fight ... I now appreciate there are all types of Aussies as for a while I thought they were representative of all Australian females ... my mother was not a yeller, bosser or fighter in that way ... at all ... so I have to give her credit for that. I looked up to her a lot in those days.

@Bunniekins Great you are keeping at the work. I did my weekly walking group this morning ... but no where near as ealy as you sister!

@TAB

Wow you must be up north ... that is hot for this time of year.

@Zoe7 Its being able to open up here on the forum in last 4 years that have helped and specifically developing trust with the women here .. and you. Otherwise my language tended to be more official or scientific. Today on my walking group I managed to move in and out of fields which held trauma and competence, in the ebb and flow of conversation. I dont underestimate the support you have been for me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

hi @Adge just want to affirm that you're doing a great job with your recovery. It must be very frustrating not to be able to do yoga yet when It's something you enjoy. Keep up the good work!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks a lot @BryanaCamp and @Exoplanet . Doing my best not to stress on it all today but it will be a different story when the others all go on Saturday morning.

@Appleblossom it's been a pleasure for me knowing you too over the last 4 years and seeing your progress. Hope you get the counselling stuff sorted soon and in the way you want it.

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