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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins am up now lol

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sleeping more sounds good @Zoe7 💤

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Good morning and have a great day Zoe7 🙂 personally I think a sleep in is the way to go 😛 xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@TAB Yay! so tell me all about your second day at work. Is the motel nice? is the food good? how did you go driving 400kms (did I hear that right??) 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes give or take was 370 just looked @Bunniekins sorry am feeling negative this morning but food ok room ok guy running show is chasing own tail and me worrying its going to make me look bad anyhoo hopefully big gains today

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@TAB Don't worry about the guy just concentrate on what you are doing and you will be fine :). As my mum always tells me "Don't worry about things that haven't happened" 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good advice @Bunniekins he means well I guess

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@TAB yeah she does but I worry nonetheless lol. I hope you have a good day regardless 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning all. Haven't read back posts yet but will after this.

So - I wonder if anyone remembers a few weeks ago me talking about sil's brother, who is now living in bro and sil's house next door with her Mum too. Well I was saying how I felt like he was a ticking time bomb and last night it went off in my face. I asked him not to feed the dog while the others are all away (going in 3 days and away for a month). He puffed up fast, big voice big guy and said spitefully with venom "I hate being told what to do and especially by women". Totally directed at me. It's the first time I've been on the receiving end of such rapid intense anger for a long time and it cracked me totally. I left the table in tears, shaking like a leaf and came home to my cabin. So much running through my mind so fast. So many fears come true. Totally triggered me. After a while my brother came after me and we talked and he tried to rationalize with me and make a plan for while they're all away, but I don't trust that the guy won't be spiteful and vindictive and try to cause trouble for me. And I was pretty much beyond reason, having flashes back to when another really big guy did dv on me. Sil came home and said he can't stay here now but I haven't heard this morning whether it turned out that way or not. Bro seems to think he still can. And if sil's bro is not going to be in the next door house then I'll have to look after it and the new pool on top of this place and the dog. Too much for me. And it had to come to a head just 3 days before they go. He is definitely not the type to back down let alone apologize. I could keep raving here but there's just too much in my head to put down right now. Luckily I have a psychologist ap't today so hopefully will be able to get clear on it all and find the strength to have boundaries and feel safe again. Doesn't feel likely right now. I feel like I'll be walking on eggshells, afraid of running into him. But if he's not here I will also have to manage tradesmen doing some more work on the pool surrounds, as well as the very complicated filtration system. Aaaagh!!!!

I have major issues dealing with any man I don't know, but to have those fears confirmed now is worse. A minefield.

@Zoe7 @Appleblossom @Bunniekins @CheerBear @Exoplanet et al.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs hugs @eth. So much understand the rush that can happen when you're exposed to something scary like that after a long history of scary stuff. It can leave you feeling so shaky. I used go into flight kind of mode and now it's more of a fight one. Both can be really intense. That flight kind of response of yours sounds like a helpful one with someone intimidating who won't back down. Sorry to hear you have to think of that on top of all the other things you have to think about while they're away.

Hope your appointment is helpful today. Much ❤

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