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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Appleblossom, thanks for your thought about stability in the way I relate here. I also love that you think I'm staunch!

I didn't have any preconceptions about what diagnosis might fit you best. At one level, they are of course just labels. But labels can be helpful, especially if they lead to better medications that might bring more peace of mind. That's how I feel about my bipolar diagnosis - that the greater inner peace the appropriate medications have brought me is worth the negatives. I suppose too I choose to identify with my diagnosis because it helps me find some sort of structural understanding of my particular struggles in life. I hope whatever diagnosis you settle on with your pdoc is of maximum benefit to you.

It's a very tough situation for you both, your son's current relapse. Has he been diagnosed bipolar now? No need to answer that unless you want, just curious because I've followed, and related to, what you've told me of him over time. Especially the struggle with too much sleep, askew hours, lack of will to contribute domestically. And inspired creativity. Glad to hear he was sounding better when you spoke today.

I too appreciate your presence in my life via this forum. I'm glad to get to walk here with you too, and exchange whatever we can to help each other get through and even flourish as best we can. And just have a bit of chat, a yarn, or whatever. I find it all helps.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @CheerBear, thinking of you as the light was rounding the edge of the vertical blinds this morning. And I thought of you while I was out walking around the backstreets to the bus on the way home from my friend's place yesterday. I walk on grass as there is no footpath on that side of the street. It's so green around here, pretty much all year round. I don't know why that soft springy green grass in one particular back street makes me think of you. But it does! Hope you are travelling as well as possible.

My friend too has to move flat soon. I was around there yesterday helping her start with the packing and check out places online. I may end up organising applications for her too, as there is a scanner here. I have found it's best to have all the paperwork organised as soon as possible. Most of the commercial rental places ask for the same things really and it's been helpful to have the application support documents ready. Then it just means filling out the application form if I want to go for a place. It's so good you have support. My friend is also on the lookout for NRAS properties that might come up in coming weeks.

I've been up all night, give or take an hour or two of semi-sleep, punctuated by coughing. I had to get up, I couldn't stand it. When I'm upright, I cough less. But even in the armchair trying to sleep, the coughs were doing me in. Sitting here at the computer now, I'm breathing relatively easy. That's why this is another long rave.

On the plus side, the chest and sinus problems kind of 'broke' in some way yesterday. I felt better, though still coughing, and was able to go out of the flat independently for the first time in over a week. Not a big trip to my friend's place, but a little walking and exertion. And some exertion with helping her sort out clothes to go to the op shop etc. I really have been ill and am not that well even now. But still fairly cheerful, oddly.

Hi @Appleblossom, just saw your message, delayed reply because I was drafting the above. Gives me a smile to see you too. Sorry about the nightmares, that sounds grim. Fractured Fairy Tales was a favourite from childhood for me. We are talking about the same thing I hope. The old kids TV show?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Glad you have some relief from chest issues.

I never watched Fractured Fairy Tales as a kid.WOuld not have gotten them anyway. Too serious.

The delightful and surprising @Former-Member posted one. It makes sense now ... better late than never.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom, there's lots of things I've come to appreciate later in life that I had no exposure, or was not interested in, when I was younger. Fractured Fairy Tales are a classic, for any age.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita. Thank you for your message this morning. I read it while I was having a coffee sitting in one of my favourite gardens (the one with the icy winter mornings) looking through houses. One of my best bird friends (a female king parrot) came to visit me this morning. I love the chirpy little birds at my usual coffee spot, but the ones where I was are something else. I tried to get a photo for you but I couldn't without it showing too much. I was there because I have a couple of open house inspections today and needed to organise that around some littles. I've been to one and have another in a few hours.

I'm not feeling very good this morning. The house stuff is so hard on so many levels and today I am feeling the fight to stay afloat when it seems like are so many things sinking me. I know you understand the pain and stress of housing. It hurts.

Your friend is lucky to have you be able to support her through it. An NRAS house would be ideal for us but it won't happen and I've given up on that now. Hoping one comes up for your friend and that it all goes smoothly for her.

The coughing sounds horrible and having sleep interrupted like that makes things really tough. Hopefully with the sinus and chest problems starting to break a bit it means you'll be on the mend soon. Your cheerfulness (I don't think that's even a word lol) makes me smile.

Hope today is ok for you 💗

Hi to @Appleblossom also. Hoping the day goes well for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita @outlander @Former-Member and others here. I had a good week with my adult child, their husband and my grandaughter. Looking forward to catching up here. Sorry to hear you've been unwell @Mazarita, hope you're starting to feel better.

It's really lovely to see the support everyone's giving each other. I miss it when I'm away without the computer.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Im glad you had a good time @eth sometimes tech detox is good but im glad your back 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @outlander. Hoping life is going smoother for you at the moment.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

no unfortunatley @eth trying to work out what i can do though

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It would be good if you could work out a plan @outlander. I feel for you, your situation has gone on for too long. Tag me on one of your threads if you want to.

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