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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hopefully the cake will turn out OK @eth. The little person it is for is pretty easy to please and I don't think I can go wrong with smarties, lots of icing and colourful cake 🙂 It's for tomorrow evening so I'll bring some to FF if I can and I remember. You can never have too many rainbows or virtual cake I think 😉

Your morning sounds nice and relaxed. It's amazing weather here now after our very cold start. Sunny, singing birds, gentle breeze - all the good things. It feels good to have the windows open and sun coming through the house at the moment.

The pool sounds like a big stress especially if they're all away while it is happening. Everything crossed that doesn't fall too much on you to manage!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Going offline now to do my bridge homework @CheerBear Nice to 'see' you this morning. Hope your meeting goes really well. Remember the catch phrase 'choice and control'! xx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth I hope you have a good day.
The surgery was yesterday afternoon.
It was more major than expected (the Drs told me) - recovery time longer.
Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Haha I constantly hear that from my SC and constantly feel completely mangled when I do considering my plan gives me very little choice and I can't understand it well enough to make informed choices, and my SC seems to be controlling how it is used. I plan on expressing my feelings about that if/when she goes there again 😉

Great to catch you this morning. Have a super afternoon @eth!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge Hi Adge was thinking of you this morning and wondering how you were going. Can you look at your tummy tuck yet or is it all bandaged up? How are you feeling? I really hope recovery goes smoothly for you. xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending warm wishes @Adge and really hoping you are able to recover with the benefits of the surgery that you were hoping for. Sending hugs and strength to you at this time.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

Learning how to package our trauma in socially acceptable ways seems to be necessary for moving on.

Meeting you on here helped me hugely. I can understand the "being too hippy" for a particular crowd, which is why it was so good to meet you.

I expressed amusment out loud in choir last week, it surprised me, and probably others, as I laughed at the conductor being intellectual about the parts of a wine bottle. I must be over politely nodding or demurring to the continual references to drinking fine wine, alcohol as permissable substance intake ... eye roll....

I no longer support their biggest fundraiser, another choir brought in a bulbs catalogue and a herb catalogue ....

The whole concept of social skills ...really needs teasing out ... as each social group is only the sum of its parts.... oooooooppps ... people.

@CheerBear I will keep your experience with support co-ordinators in mind. It is so difficult when we clash with people. I tried so hard for so long to avoid all clashes, it has been ahuge lesson for me to see that for some people, it is more a way of being, teasing, stirring, being cheeky.... not all bad . .. or the end of the world ... but when they are in positions of power regarding resources that we need ... it is hard.

This morning I had a pleasant walk and coffee with a group from my support organisation.

@Bunniekins @Adge @Mazarita @Exoplanet

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

If I could do this again with a support coordinator, or if I have to find another one, the lesson I learned is that it is OK (more than OK) to ask how a particular support coordinator can support you, how they see your plan working, how they've used similar plans in the past, how well they understand the services out there that may be relevant to you etc. @Appleblossom. The way the NDIS works is taking me some time to get my head around, but at the end of the day it is about purchasing support. With that in mind, shopping around makes a lot of sense.

I completely agree that clashing with someone in a position of power over you, is very hard. When words and actions don't line up for me with support peopleor when I'm sensing lip service, I can snap. It triggers some kind of 'shut-down' or 'fire-up' in me. In the refuge I was at my most vulnerable and was completely powerless. There was a lot of lip service then that hurt me, and I think my responses to it now are a lot in part from then.

In saying that, the support coordinator and I did pretty well today. And my cake looks good 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Great to hear @CheerBear

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins Tummy Tuck is covered with bandages, & is still bulgy.

The surgery was more complicated than expected (surgeon said after).

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