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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Middle of the night rave.

I'm off to the hospital tomorrow (today) for a pre-admission clinic, in preparation for the scope under anaesthetic next week. I think I could be at the hospital for quite some time from what they told me on the phone, they said there might be some waiting around. I think they may do a range of checks to ensure the anaesthetic will be as safe as possible.

I was going to catch the bus and walk the rest of the way to the hospital. But I did 2.5 kms of walking today in new sandals, and, over the course of the evening, I've come up with a blister on the ball of my foot! It hurts with every step. So I think I'm going to have to fork out for a taxi to the hospital. Expensive. I'll probably do that though.

The video I'm working on is slow going and it's not clear to me how it's going to work yet. I don't plan before I do these things, make them in the process of doing it. That means a fair bit of experimentation before I find a way to put things together I'm happy with. They look so simple at the end. I'm finicky about little things, an exercise in patience. I do enjoy it overall though (not just obsessed with it, lol).

I've been thinking a lot about my ex, mostly in a gentle way.

Hi @Former-Member, wondering how the days have been treating you. Hoping you are blessed with a peaceful one today.

Same for everyone, love all round.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita 🙂

Hugs for what's going on in your world at the moment. Hospital stuff isn't fun. Hoping it goes smoothly for you. As often, reading about your video making has got me wishing I could see it. Glad to hear you're going gently also.

Hope today is good for you Maz 💗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wishing you as less stress as possible @Mazarita. Hopefully your health will improve after this event.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Mazy @Mazarita

Thinking of you at hospital I'm glad your not taking the bus, I hope someone is collecting you. Even if there's no proceedures today, it sounds like a lot of paperwork and tests - confusion and anxiety. Perhaps fate popped a few blisters in place for a reason 😉

Your brain might be putting the video in the background for a bit, while it's busy with other things. I'm sure it will give it all the creativity it needs when it's ready 🙂

I wish I had your ability to remember the good in an ex. I believe they become ex's for a reason, a very painful reason - I pack the entire experience into a 'black box', lable it a 'bad memory' and delete it. The only thing remaining is the label.

I am ok with being not entirely ok Mazy I'm getting there. I'm still riding the roller-coaster, you'd think I'd be used to the dips and the loop-de-loops, but this ride still manages to scare and thrill me - it wouldn't be much of a ride if it didn't 🙂

Loading the stream up with love and support

Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Didn't make it to the hospital pre-clinic today. I was too ill on waking, just couldn't get there. It might have been different if there had been someone to drive me. They instead went through some questions on the phone with me and said to come in for next week's procedure anyway. C has taken a day off work to be the person who takes me and brings me home (compulsory to have a carer, by hospital regulations).

Slept most of the day. Still feeling weak but much better now that it's evening.

Hi @CheerBear, I wish I could show them to you too. They are kinda weird and experimental to regular taste. The ones I have posted on the forum in the past are the simple form of it. I'm working with a collaborator's voice on this one and lots of sound effects. I haven't read your thread yet to know what today's been like for you. But sending you love and good cheer for the rest of the evening.

Hi @soul, thanks for your kind words. What I'm anticipating might be possible at the least is some relief from symptoms. The best I hope for is a possible remission from decades-long pain and discomfort. Anywhere in that range would be welcome really.

Hi @Former-Member. Niqua, my friend gave me some paw paw ointment and a big waterproof bandage to dress my foot tonight. I can now walk around without hobbling. I'm actually persisting day by day with the video, gently pushing through this bewildering phase with it. It's familiar to me from making past videos. At a certain point the sun shines through the clouds and I know what I'm doing. Then I often finish the piece quickly. I do want to remember exes as well as I can. I have terrible failings and I've never been a saint in these relationships. Though I might set strict boundaries about not seeing people if they've done really bad things to me, I suppose I try to forgive or understand, at least to some extent, in my heart. I'm okay with not being all that okay too, I get what you're saying, though it makes me wonder if you are doing it especially tough. I know you will talk about things if you want to. You have listening ears here. Streaming love.

Hi everyone, hope the rest of the evening is kind all round.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Mazarita

A listening here too Niqua the notification from the other thread will be lost now but i want you to know i care very much about tou ❤❤ @Former-Member

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @outlander, hugs.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hugs to you too @Mazarita i know your going through a rough time too ❤❤

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Goodmorning @Mazarita @eth @Former-Member and everyone ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning Mazy , Claire , Sis , @Faith-and-Hope, @Shaz51, @CheerBear, @Owlunar, @eth, @soul

@Mazarita, @outlander, @Former-Member

Wishing you all laughter and smiles, relaxation and calm, excitement and purpose . . . the whole kit and kaboodle 🙂

Niqua

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