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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh @Adge I feel for you so deeply. Just read your post about being contacted by that person from your past, and so completely sabotaged by your mother. Words are not enough for my empathy towards you on this. Just know that you clearly have a ton of support here. And that you are a strong survivor capable of great resilience. Maybe it would help to write letters (that you may never post) expressing the depth of your feelings to both perpetrator and mother. Just to get it all out of your head and then when you read it it might help validate all you are feeling. I've done it in the past and then go back and add to it over days or weeks. What she has done is yet another form of abuse in my opinion. And on top of that the denial of reality by all your family can be a source of so much pain too. So many feels here. Hugs and warm wishes to you x

I haven't caught up on all the conversation of the last couple of pages since your post but wanted to respond immediately. Will go now and catch up.

Good morning sounds trivial today but hello to all who see this @Shaz51 @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @CheerBear @outlander @Exoplanet @Zoe7

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello to you too @Faith-and-Hope . Very good to hear that you found a carer for your daughter. I hope they work out well. Shame your Mr isn't being supportive with the family's needs. Sending best wishes for everyone to enjoy their studies, you included (I think I read a while ago that you are doing some uni too, might be wrong). I'm sure you already know, but don't forget uni's these days have support people for those having difficulties due to any sort of disability including MH challenges. Hope things settle into place more smoothly for you all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Bunniekins I missed friday feast last night despite intending to be there. Sil's bro next door cooked for all of us and we weren't called for dinner til just after 7. Didn't get back til almost 9 and crashed out with exhaustion from my busy day and recent times. He made a keto version of pizza which was yum scrum. The bases were made of almond meal and mozzarella cheese. So tasty and very filling. Yummy toppings too.


How are things going for you? How's your day looking?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth dinner sounds delicious 😛 and you were able to sit back and just enjoy it after such a busy week is even better. My ex is back after being away a month. He will be coming up to pick up son2 and take him for the weekend. which is great. Will do washing and cleaning and take it easy as next week I have the ndis woman coming over to see how my household runs re funding.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Jeez @Bunniekins you're brave letting them into your home. If it were me I'd be letting things go for a day or two before they come so that they see how it is when things are not at their best. If they learn how things are when we're not travelling well the funding will reflect that and be most helpful at times like that over the year. They have to accept that some conditions are episodic, it's what they claim they will do on their website. I refused to have a home visit, insisted on a face to face meeting at their office. Even doing it there I became very overwhelmed and emotional a few times and even forgot what they'd just asked me at times coz I was feeling like that, but afterwards sil and bro said it was probably good that they saw how it can be for me.

Hoping you have a wonderful total respite this weekend. Glad to hear ex is back and giving you some support. Do you have anything planned?

I need to get into my cabin chores and then do some more in the garden in a little while and then have a support worker from 12-2.45 this afternoon. Don't have any essentials to do with them today so might be a day for a walk at the beach or something like that.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Everyone 🙂

Thinking of you Mazy @Mazarita

Love to all that need or want it

@eth @Bunniekins @Appleblossom @CheerBear @Zoe7 @Teej @Sophia1 @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @TAB @Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Exoplanet always good to see you. How's your weekend looking?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Exoplanet, @eth and @Bunniekins and thanks for the hellos 🙂❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @CheerBear How are you today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm good this morning thanks @eth. I slept way, waaaay more than usual last night and was in bed until 7 this morning! About 165 thousand wake-ups during the night 😉 but it feels good to have had longer in bed by a lot.

I haven't really caught up here but getting the idea that you may have been pretty busy this week? Hope your SW visit and possible beach trip is good for you today 🙂
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