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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I will definitely be in on that @Shaz51 Eating cheeses is one of my All-time Favourite things to do...

Adge

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yep I totally understand that floored feeling @Adge - and I also get how it takes time to get past that. I took a couple of days to get to the stage where I could even talk about it (even here) - that is the effect it had on me - so yes I do get it. It is horrible to be going through - so much brought up and so much going through your head. All I can say is that he is the one that has done something wrong here - both in the past and now - and despite what he did you have survived and built a life for yourself - that is not easy to do. Acknowledge your present feelings because they are very real and very valid - then put him where he belongs - out of your mind - he doesn't deserve to be taking anymore from you Adge - so don't let him control again anymore of your time or feelings.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm not the vindictive type of person @Zoe7

You made me smile....

I was reminded of when my psych said (several years ago) - that anyone in my situation would love to kick this person in the .....

I said "Yes, that's exactly right"...

Of course I would not ever actually do that, but the thought is tempting...

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Zoe7

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That would be less than he deserves @Adge but I am glad I made you smile

You are more than welcome Adge. Sometimes it is nice to chat to someone that gets it as it actually makes it easier to talk - hope I have been able to help you in that regard tonight.

Do you have any plans for the weekend? I plan on resting a lot and doing very little - this work thing is tiring lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge, you made me smile at that as my mum said that it is better to be angry in your thoughts - ` like kicking him and then let it go `than to do it for real

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 @Adge You are both making me smile now lol

@Shaz51 I just want to acknowledge what you said earlier about understanding too my sister - it totally sucks that so many of us do understand but it is also nice to be able to share our experiences with people that get it. It is horrible that you understand as well but your care and compassion shine here my sister and sometimes I think that is born out of adversity and pain and that part of us we would not change.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes work is very tiring @Zoe7

I'm only doing minimal hours at the moment - cannot manage much more.

Your days would be much longer than mine.

I'm going to yoga class in the morning, then I have a Hypnotherapy session booked for tomorrow afternoon.

Sunday, my neighbour may come over for nibbles & tea, if she is free - she is going to let me know later.

Your Mum's words sound like wise advice @Shaz51 A Jungian Analyst once said something like that to me.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

sounds like a good weekend planned @Adge

ha ha it reminds me of all the arguements i have had with people in my mind and dreams @Zoe7

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am lucky that the school I am at now is less than 10 minutes from my home @Adge so my day is a bit shorter than it used to be. In winter I was leaving in the dark and getting home in the dark so that will no longer be the case. We also start later than at the previous school - which means we finish a little later but it is much better for me all around.

I hope your neighbour does come over - I know you enjoy your get togethers from what you have said previously. Your day tomorrow sounds interesting - what is the hypnotherapy for?

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