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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

thanks for the tag @eth , how was your day xx

Hello @Mazarita , @Zoe7 , @Bunniekins , @TAB , @Exoplanet

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth I just bought myself some (somewhat) healthy "comfort food" from the supermarket.

That usually helps.

I need it.

My Mum passed on my contact details to the perpetrator of my childhood SA - he phoned & then emailed me, last night.

I had made it very clear to my Mum (& brothers) that I want no contact with this person, who is related.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That is so horrible for you to have to deal with @Adge - both the contact and people not respecting your boundaries - so sorry you have had to go through this

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks so much @Zoe7 I really appreciate your thoughts.

It's been 8 years since I cut all contact with this person - I did not expect to hear from him now.

My Mum & brothers don't even acknowledge that the A happened - when I've told them that it did happen, & they know it did.

Being "not believed" & not taken seriously is tough for anyone.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It certainly is tough @Adge I think often those closest to us don't want to believe these things have happened because they don't want to feel the pain either but that is nothing compared to what you have been through. ...but to openly give out your number when you have quite clearly asked for that not to happen is like an extra kick to you. We try so hard to forget and move on with our lives but constant reminders like this makes that so hard. I really do feel for you @Adge - I was just recently contacted by someone in my past via facebook and it completely floored me so I can understand some of what you are presently feeling. I made the decision to acknowledge how hard it was but also not let this person steal away anymore of my life - it wasn't at all easy but I got through it - and no surprise it was with support from people here. Some people just don't deserve our attention - they have taken enough away from us in the past - don't let him take any more of your thinking - he is not worth it Adge.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

big hugs @Adge , that was terrible my friend

don't let him take any more of your thinking - he is not worth it Adge., i agree with @Zoe7

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm sorry that you have been through that recently too @Zoe7

Yes, totally floored is exactly right - that's how I was this morning, & still now.

You are right about not giving these people any more time, thought, or energy - this person thrives on attention.

He's a total narcissist, completely self-centred...

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks heaps @Shaz51 Did we travel to any exotic places for Friday Feast tonight?

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

i think a lot of us know what you are going through today @Adge , including me

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

no not yet @Adge , we have been eating cheeses

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