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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 o0o0o0o0o0oooo .... a male visitor is there something that the pea should know!:)

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's a lovely day here too @Bunniekins. High 20's, a little overcast and a really nice breeze 😊 Hope you enjoy your walk later.

Oooh @Zoe7! His ears must have been burning 😉 He also must be a special kind of person to be worthy of getting out of your pjs for - that's not really a thing in my world 😆 Hope it goes well. If you feel up to sharing how you went later I'll be keeping an ear (eye) out.

Better fly and see how much house stuff I can get done before the kids get home to undo it! Have a nice arvo 👋❤

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Zoe7 I'm glad that you & Toby are feeling better.

I'm thinking of you too.

Rushing off to work now...

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins Been messaging this guy for a couple of months now and we have met up a couple of times. He is really lovely but there are some things in his past that I have found a bit diffiult to deal with. I do give him a lot of credit for being so open about it and it was a long time ago but still some red flags up I am trying hard to move past. We can talk for hours - he is a very big talker lol - but the conversation flows easily - not something I am used to but it is very nice when it does happen. He has just sold his house and was expecting to travel after he did that so the future is very much up in the air. It is just a friendship but a nice one and as such I can deal with the tricky of his past - if it was to be anymore than that I don't think I could deal with it.

@CheerBear Haven't heard back yet but maybe should get dressed anyway - he is not likely to just call in without notice but just in case I would at least like to be out of my jammies Happy house cleaning until the LF get home. Will let you know how it goes if he does come around

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 I am happy that you have found a friend that can make you laugh and keep you happy. Not many men can talk for hours so that is a plus. Well you never know what the future may bring. 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

We can talk about anything @Bunniekins and it is nice to have that conversation. I find I do most of the listening while he does most of the talking so it is kind of a win-win as I am retty guarded still in what I talk about. In saying that he does know about my depression and some of what I have been through with that but doesn't know the other bigger stuff - that is not something I can talk about with anyone so despite us having pretty good communication I am not open to disclosing a lot of things. He knows there are some deep things there but acknowledges it but doesn't push me to talk about any of it and that is good.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear @Bunniekins We have made a tentaive 'date' for Wednesday afternoon as I will be home early after pdoc appointment and today it is already getting late and I need to do a few things before tomorrow. Nothing else planned on Wednesday apart from DBT and appointments so that will work out well. Going to cancel my GP appointment in the morning - don't need scripts or any further tests at the moment so it is not a necessary appointment. Will go next week though and then begin alternating between that and my psych each week. Maybe even reduce my psych appoinments to monthly as well - will talk to her in my next appointment about doing that, I think I am in a pretty good place to be able to do that at present but still want that backup for support if things at school spin out of control at all.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Everyone 🙂

@CheerBear I love the photo, how very Staffyish 😄

@eth Thank you for always remembering me. Glad you enjoyed the stars over the farm

@Mazarita Thinking of you

@outlanderHoping your comfortable & sending love

Dam, I forgot my pills, I'll take them now.

Goodnight.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning all who pass here today.

@CheerBear I hope you're happy with your new hair do.

@Adge Hope you had a better sleep and that today is an improvement for you.

Hi @Zoe7 hope your week at work got off to a good start. And that the tricky with your friend sorts itself out soon.

Hi to you too @Bunniekins and @Exoplanet , @outlander @Appleblossom @Razzle @Shaz51 @Teej and of course @Mazarita

Hope today is going smoothly and according to plan so far.

I've got some chores to do, then heading out with my support worker to water tai chi and then a smoking cessation counselling session at the womens centre. Have to plan a keto diet menu some time today and translate that into a shopping list for tomorrow. Plus my printer is jammed and I have to take it apart to clear the jam. Have put that off for a few days already. Asked bro for help but he said to have a try first. So I will, but not at all confident about it.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

a keto diet plan? Good luck with the printer I know you can do it eth!! 🙂 @eth

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