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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks a lot @Zoe7 . I probably will read next time - not sure whether I'll do a new piece or an older one. How's the new school going?

@Exoplanet Magnificent pictures. Looks like a delightful place to camp. Sorry to hear about your grandson's diagnosis. I've known young adults with the same diagnosis who have found 'their thing' in life and live independently and have good jobs so never give up hope. I'm glad you have @Bunniekins to support you with this.

Hi to anyone else dropping in here this evening. Hope today has been a good one for you all.

I'm making a pot of 'Ribollita' soup tonight - Tuscan white bean and vegie soup, quite easy to make, with gremolata (parsley, lemon rind, garlic and parmesan) to sprinkle in it and crusty bread on the side. It was a hit the first time I did it so I'm doing it again. Will be using rosemary, sage, basil, parsley, mint and spinach from our garden. It's been hot here today so I just watered it all and hope it perks up a bit before I need to pick it.

Had a walk and a swim with the support worker today. Psychologist cancelled as she was sick - a shame coz I had plenty I wanted to talk about today - including how to manage best the presence of sil's bro in the house next door now. There are a few reasons why that's a tricky situation for me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope your dinner goes really well for you @eth It certainly sounds yummy

A day off today and back to work tomorrow @eth so it will be my first day with kids. I am not sure what I will be doing yet and that is causing me some anxiety. I like to be prepared but feeling that this job is going to be more about filling in rather than actually teaching. I hope that changes and I am simply putting too much pressure on myself but only time will tell. I don't feel great at the moment but will see how tomorrow goes when I get there.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 I think you're right - all you really can do is wait and see. Like 'hurry up and wait' as I say. Remember to breath tonight and maybe do something that takes your mind off it all like watch a movie. Hope you get kids that are easy to love and no real brats.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth Going to head off forum and try to deal with some of these feelings. Hope your dinner is a real hit tonight

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the shout out @outlander You reminded me how important it is to value good moments, even if there's a lot of crap going on.

Good advice re ASD kids @Bunniekins My boy is 16 and pdoc said he's going to 'take longer to cook!' I do feel sad that things are hard for him, and I feel bad that it took this long (late last year) to finally work out what as going on, but I have to remind myself that learning is lifelong for all of us, and he's on his own path.

Hello @Adge thinking of you.

Hello @eth @Mazarita @Zoe7 enjoy your evening all.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins

I worked today - cleaned a client's house, took him shopping, & took him to visit some people who he wanted to see.

My days, energy spent, & thoughts revolve around work - even though it's only giving me a few hours income (mostly).

Then I determined to make use of what was left of the (late) afternoon - so I rushed out shopping, & chased up some car repair parts, etc.

How did you go today?

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @frog I'm thinking of you too.

Always good to hear from you.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge Hi Adge that is one busy and useful day! When you say car parts does that mean you can fix cars yourself? That would be a handy skill to have (wish I could!) I saw my pschiatrist today. She is always great to talk with. I think she is happy with how I am going but still wants to see me once a month but for 1/2 hour not full hour anymore. Read some of my book and spent time with my daughter.

Tomorrow will be busy as I have son2 home so will take him to the bakery for treats then head off with mental health nurse for walking and then off again with son2 to get his teeth xrayed. No rest for the wicked 😛

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes, no rest for the wicked @Bunniekins

Is that why I never rest (or relax) enough?

No I cannot fix cars, I've never had mechanical "problem-solving" aptitude.

Even something as simple as replacing a windscreen wiper (finding the right one), became an issue - because I had left the original one in for 8 years (had never replaced it).

My Dad one the one with great mechanical skills - a science teacher (Geologist), specialising in electronics (amongst many things). He could re-wire a house or power-point.

Sadly he was unable to pass those skills onto me, before he died...

My skill & passion is with growing things, plants especially.

Adge

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Adge you have other gifts like your kind, giving nature are two which are really apparent. Your love of animals which is a gift. You can tell alot about a man who loves animals. You are a lovely person Adge and it shines through. greenpea xxx

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