FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

1,721 - 1,730 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita and @CheerBear warm wishes to you both from me too. @Mazarita go gently my friend, grief is understandable despite the difficult relationship you had. You must have loved him to be together for a year. Thinking of you at this time xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for your kind words and feelings, @eth. ox

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hope you're going ok tonight @Mazarita

Goodnight to all on this lovely thread

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks again, @CheerBear, for checking in on me. Yes, I am okay. There has been a lot of memories of our time together arising, the good times more than the bad. Remembering him as well as I can and I have lit a candle for him with crystals around it. Goodnight, sleep well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita I'm here if you're awake.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, just woke up if you are still around.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry to have missed you this morning @Mazarita. Wondering how you are this morning. I hope you're doing ok, sitting quietly with the news you had yesterday xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, haven't been to bed since I posted that last message. Doing video, thinking about ex on and off. Tired now and will go to bed soon. But I may only get a little sleep still because I have something on later this morning. We shall see. How are you feeling this morning. I'm guessing a lot of what you are feeling is about taking off tomorrow. Glad you are getting this second trip.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita If I had similar news I'd be feeling pretty stirred up too. Today is a day to nourish yourself with things that make you feel good, gentle on your soul. What is the thing you have this morning?

I'm feeling ok today and, yes, focussed on the positives of my trip as much as possible. Trying not to 'what if' too much about possible complications along the way such as I had coming back from Darwin. I think this trip will be more enjoyable, especially looking forward to playing with my grandaughter.

I've also been having mixed memories since reading about your relationship yesterday. I've been through a very similar time with someone in 2008/9. So I'm really empathising with what you are going through. Take good care of you today, I'm thinking of you a lot xx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, thanks for your kind words, and hugs for the memories arising from what I wrote. Glad you are mostly focussed on the positives of your trip. I can only imagine how wonderful it would be to visit a grandchild.

This morning I am seeing a friend who has just got out of psych hospital. She too has bipolar (though there may be more or different news on that today). She only had select people visit her while in there and I wasn't one of them. We texted each other throughout the time though and missed each other. It's a little stressful going to see her for reasons I won't go into. But I want to do my best to get there since she was only discharged yesterday. I may get some more sleep after seeing her.

1,721 - 1,730 of 27,230