FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

17,171 - 17,180 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 I think I’m still a little shell shocked by the dream/flash back, I still haven’t been able to process it, I just can’t get it straight in my mind.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I understand when that happens @Razzle - you don't know what is real and what is imagined and it leaves you feeling completely lost. This is not a nice place to be Hon.

Do you have an appointment with a psych or pdoc soon that you can work through it with?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 I had an appointment Wednesday just gone with my councillor. He explained why I’ve had the flash back, it’s just left me pretty rattled.

Years later when I actually understood what sex was, I always felt that I dodged a massive bullet by avoiding a pregnancy during my abuse from him, it was like the silver lining, now I just feel disgusted, with myself, with him, with everything. My skin crawls just thinking about it now

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I understand all thise feelings very well @Razzle and when you have those flashbacks it feels like they will never end - the feelings do pass but that doesn't always happen quickly. Knowing why you are having those feelings does go some ways to helping but when you are feeling vulnerable they certainly have a way of taking hold of you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 Yep, I feel like I’m swimming in concrete at the moment. It’s just a huge effort to do anything right now

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Oh @Razzle I know that feeling well - every day feels a little worse than the one before and you don't even know that that is possible. On the positive side though Hon you are posting here and sharing it with me and others and in that way receiving support - and support when you are feeling as low as you are is very much needed. Happy to continue chatting to you Hon - know very well that horrible sinking feeling and how much support here helped me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Zoe7 The support here has been amazing. There are so many of us that have similar stories. There are some evil, EVIL people in this world

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It is horrible that so many here have such similar stories @Razzle But those experiences have also brought us together and I now try to think about the wonderful people I have met through adversity - and that makes me smile. I know it has taken me a lot of time and a lot of support to see any positives at all but throughout it all one thing that has never ceased to amaze me is how much everyone here sticks together and supports each other. ...and you are part of that community @Razzle and despite what brought you here it is wonderful that you are

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You’re right about the community @Zoe7 Everyone seems to know exactly the right things to say. It feels a lot less lonely when I come here to the forums

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I think that is because we all speak from experience and so many of our experiences are similar @Razzle You have so much to give here precisely because you have experienced so much and that is something that both sets you apart and unites us all - lived experience.

17,171 - 17,180 of 27,230