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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

im around if you want to chat @eth just flicking on and off today

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning Claire @outlander 🙂

I'm sorry you felt so exhausted and empty last night, I still worry how things are for you right now. I had actually written you a long rave yesterday, but decided against posting it. My heads in a fairly negitive place at the moment; more negitive than it should be - at least I recognize that now 🙂 Unlike you I have plenty of personal space to breathe and there are no bad guys currently in my life. Maybe that's why I sort them out, at least I had someone in my life? Now, with this Forum, the bad guys (which I'm sure would be here) aren't allowed to be bad guys . . . . everybodies good. It's not real, but it's a comfort.

Love you Claire

Nanny Niqua

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning @eth

I hope today is more settled for you, and that you Uncle's visit turned out not too bad 🙂 Good on you for doing your housework chores 🙂

Peace be with youi

Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

good morning @Former-Member

im exhausted Niqua. it doesnt matter what time of the day it is. i took a day and abit away becasue i had no energy to even come on here.

you can post whatever you like. if i dont get to it straight away i will get there. just taking things slowly atm.

im getting about an hours break today though as my middle sisters gone out and my youngest is going out with mums bf to collect some seashells.

whats up? what has you in a negative headspace, do you want to talk about it?

Love you too Nanny Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

My beautiful Claire @outlander

It is a beautiful soul, that in a exhaustive state will still think and care for others

Take whatever time you need, I wish I could, I'm far to dependent on this forum and the friends that I have made here, that I know are struggling, to deal with my own struggle. I find myself wondering how did I cope for the lifetime before I joined?

I'm glad to hear your getting a break, even if it is only for an hour, it is a break.

I don't know what's up exactly, I rarely do. I had a Doctor draw me a chart once, trying to explain how and event will occur, that was a peak in the graph - and how long it may take me to process it. I guess it's the bank thing, and I know it can be just a word that will 'trigger' me.

I think of it like a computers processor, and mine is just too busy, trying to process early childhood stuff that it just can't. So current events are processed so much slower, only running in the background. I see my brain as having started a self-defragmentation, trying to put all the bad into one section so it can skip over that and have some integrity with whats left. Problem is I just kept adding tha bad all my life, and I don't know how much space is left for the current.

But going by the graph I was shown, it will process it. It's like I've got an archaic computer in my head, it's just very slow. I will be fine Claire I am in no danger. You focus on you now, that's what you need to do.

Thank- you for caring

Niqua

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave


Dear Niqua @Former-Member

its easier to care for others than care for myself, id much rather do that. Ive got a little bit of energy today not a lot but enough. Its an easy day today. I start work at my second job on tuesday and im waiting on my lsit of things to do through the week to come through. Itll come through today or tomorrow morning. I finally get sutures removed tomorrow morning too so thatll make things a lot easier too.
I love being here too Niqua and I wanted to be here but I hardly had any strength at all to even just pick up my phone. So I just styaed on the lounge that was it.

Its hard to know wxacly whats wrong, its hard to understand as it can be anything as you know we seem to be sensiive to triggers. Ahh yes I remember the bank thing. I hoep things do go your way. I think itll be quite disrespectful to make you go through that and then child doesnt uphold their end of the bargain.

Niqua youve got to forgive yourself for the bad things youve done in your life. It hasnt been your fault, no one can really make up their mind on their own. Everyone has their influences and being younger you mgihtve been in the 'wrong crowd' sure you can be responsible for the decisions you have made but you can also forgive yourself. Things that happened back then are in the past and unless you intend on making those same mistakes try not to worry about those.
Im very well aware of how those decsions haunt you though. We all have our demons but being here we can share our thoughts and help move past these things too.

I know youll be fine, but you dont have to be fine all the time. Of course I care. You mean a lot to me Niqua. :heart

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

An early morning hello to @eth, @Former-Member, @CheerBear, @PeppiPatty, @outlander, @Appleblossom, @Shaz51, @Faith-and-Hope and everyone. Hope today brings good moments to all.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

We meet in real time in the morning @Mazarita 💗😊

Good morning to you. How are you this morning?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning Mazy @Mazarita and @CheerBear

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @Former-Member ☺ How are you going? Big love to you for the day ahead 💗
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