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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Bunniekins sounds like a peaceful family time at your place. I'm having a solo couple of nights, the others have gone to the farm and taken the dog. Sitting in front of the fan here too. It went well over 40 here today and when I came home from being out with the sw it was at least 10 deg hotter in the cabin. Still working on cooling it down. Gave the garden a good drink, everything was drooping. Hope we don't lose all our food seedlings in this heatwave.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @ eth
Yeah not much ok nothing happening here. still warm bit of breeze got 3 free tickets on scratchies just then @Bunniekins @Zoe7 @Shaz51

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You have done well on the walks this week @TAB ✅

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Um re did them in 20s and 30s @Bunniekins From here to eternity The sun also rises postman rings twice

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Zoe7 we went to the place the sw suggested and it was magnificent. A lookout high over the north end of a beautiful beach about 3/4 hour drive south from here. Saw a pod of dolphins travel southwards along the whole cove. And there was a paraglider trying unsuccessfully to get off the ground right near us. Why would anyone jump off a perfectly good cliff??!

I talked all the way there about a period of my life (around the time when I lost my son) and I think I blew her mind. Too much to tell here, and I've found it can be too much to tell one person all at once but she handled it really well. The further I got into my story the more details came to the surface. But managed to find peace at the lookout and went for a delish gourmet ice cream on the way home - brought me back into the present.


Other than my current psychologist, this was the safest I've ever felt telling about those chapters of my life. Which include about 6 highly traumatising events. All in about 3 years or less. I guess because she was driving I kind of had a captive audience, but she listened really well and asked some very good questions along the way.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Maybe if the weather cools down tomorrow you might be able to hop on the bike? I know you have been wanting to but it is so hard to get motivated when the weather is so hot.

@TAB o0o0o0o0oooo .... free tickets .... x my fingers and toes for you TABs. Every time you go out someone wants money from you you must look very spiffy when you go out for walks etc. I never get asked for money.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yeah its unusual for me last couple years. Thanks @Zoe7

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@TAB OMG! Marlon Brando was so s@xy! When he was younger that is

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Haha usually wear shirt and work pants ok no stripes @Bunniekins .

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That sounds like a very intense but cathartic day @eth It is so good you feel so comfortable with your sw and just as good that she has listened and supported you. Being at such a beautiful place also, whilst doesn't change those memories and feelings, certainly gives you a new persepective on the day. There is beauty everywhere - sometimes we just need to look for it.

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