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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm glad the song cheered you up @Bunniekins

I'm a bit down myself, so I'm listening to rousing music (that usually helps).

I'm very happy for you to ask about my dating.

I actually find people asking (showing interest) motivational, not invasive.

There isn't always anything to share - because I don't push myself with contacting women (online dating), as much as I probably need to.

I met a lawyer lady last weekend (for a date), I didn't know she was until I met her.

I haven't followed up, because it was a bit awkward (we only talked for 40 minutes), & I'm shy.

Adge

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

lol just a spring chicken then @Bunniekins ok saw a BW 1930s movie on tv this year , they were calling late 30s middle aged lol interesting

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

i just got back from 1hr walk made self do @Bunniekins took felt hat off, could have filled a cup with the sweat ..gross and its only 31 ok if it was hotter sweat wld evaporate more you'd hope

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@TAB Don't you love 30s black and white films :D. I suppose people died in the 60s to 70s back then unlike now where it is normal to live up until your 80s (I know of people in their 90s!:o). Good on you for going on a walk I went for a brisk 30mins walk this morning at about 6.30am it was humid then but at least the sun was barely up.

@Adge I am sure I am not the only one interested in finch's dating. Maybe you should start up a thread and post dates and we can all have a input as to whether we think she is good enough for the finch 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes re old movies 🎥 @Bunniekins and as kid in early19 70s remember not too many made it past 60s lol

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins @Adge @Zoe7and @TAB great to catch you, there's usually not much happening here late Saturday which is often a time I'm looking for company. How are your evenings looking?

Thanks for the well wishes @Shaz51 Sorry to hear you have yet another health challenge. Hope the new med works well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom very glad to hear that the song I posted resonated with you. I first met the singer/songwriter in around 1991 when he was a guitarist with Kev Carmody - another indigenous songwriter/poet/activist worth checking out. Famous for writing From Little Things Big Things Grow with Paul Kelly.

Hope you enjoy your busy times ahead.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@TAB Dad and I used to watch the old black and white movies that used to be shown on the tv when I was young. The old Tarzan movies.were great 🙂 My favourite old movie is Blithe Spirit 1945 movie. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blithe_Spirit_(film)

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hi eth 🙂 xx I have a quiet night in front of the fan lol. It is boiling where I live atm. Have my son2 chattering away happily next to me which is really nice.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth did you end up going to the movies or to the spot your sw suggested?

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