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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning hasn't started off well but I will get over it in time @eth Got a lot I need to get done but as is usual lately I don't have the motivation to do anything,

I do know it is a very tricky day for you so my thoughts are with you

I hope you find a movie you would like to see and then enjoy it today Hon

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Time for that extra coffee @Zoe7?? I'm gonna have a 2nd coz I'm still a bit dopey too. Really hot here already.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear sorry just saw your post.

I agree with your sentiments about it being easier as a single parent in a lot of ways. You don't have to negotiate everything or be accountable (read scrutinized by) anyone. I've watched you work hard to adjust to sole parenting since I met you - you are getting there for sure!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @eth 😊❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I don't drink coffee @eth so no second one for me

The temperature has dropped to early 20s here which is great for our firefighters and the fires still burning. The wind has also dropped so that also will be assisting them. So many fires still burning out of control so any help they can get is a bonus.

Hope you can stay out of the heat a bit today and that you get to the movies.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 it's 36 already here! Checked out what movies are on, where and when and there's only one that fits in our time slot - I only have the sw from 12-3. And it's not particularly drawing me. It's called Green Book and is yet another road trip movie, even tho' the characters look less mainstream - one is a black jazz pianist, can't remember the other atm. Typical of my memory - I only looked at it in the last 1/2 hour. Edit : ok just looked again and it's a black classical pianist and a gang-style white guy, set in about the 50s.

Very glad to hear the temp and wind have dropped where you are. Really hope the firies are able to get more of the fires under control and that the conditions don't spike again.

What things do you do when you want to raise your motivation?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Have heard of that movie but haven't seen any reviews for it - think it has just come out @eth What else can you do with your sw time?

I find it hard to get motivated when I am feeling so flat - usually sleep more until I have the energy to get up and do things. Today very much feels like that kind of day. I might have a sleep then take Toby to my sister's - she wants some help in choosing doors for her new laundry so will most likely do that this afternoon some time then come home and do more in the garage ...if I can be bothered

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Zoe7 there are usually a range of things I'd do with the sw, but some are closed, some will be crowded and chaotic, and some it's just too darn hot for. She suggested going to a lookout she knows of for a while which might be nice - sitting peacefully and watching the eastern ocean while eating a packed lunch sounds pleasant as long as it's not crowded with Oz day picnickers. Or we might just stay here, do a bit of a review of how I'm going with my goals, check out some apps I haven't used before ... I just don't know.

It's not just that it's an anniversary for me, I also suppport Aboriginal people in that I see it as Invasion Day and believe the date should be changed for Oz Day. Each to their own beliefs tho'. Haven't been able to find an Aboriginal event in my town for today.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am in support of the date being change too @eth so no celebrations here either.

I hope the lookout is free enough for you to have a quiet lunch - and if not that you can do that review of your goals at home. At least a drive to the lookout would be pleasant even if there are too many people there when you get there - hope the car is air conditioned.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oioYK3s8np4

Written and performed by a friend of mine. Released yesterday.

@Zoe7

@TAB what's the name of your music thread? Oh and Hi for today.

Edit : found it.

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