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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for the kind thoughts and wishes @Mazarita @Zoe7 @CheerBear @outlander and anyone else who sent them. Not quite awake enough yet to tag everyone. You know who you are.

Great to read that you achieved those major goals Maz and that things are settling gradually for you.

Doing ok so far today. Planning to avoid any and all potential triggers out there in the chaos that can be this day of the year.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good to hear you're doing OK so far @eth. It's so hard when anniversaries fall on days like today 😏 I find it such a strange contrast with my own feelings not really matching what I see around me at all.

Have you decided how to spend the day (aside from avoiding triggers as is totally understandable)?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@CheerBear maybe go to a movie - not sure what's even on yet. And need to get a couple of things at the shops. If it's not too hot around then might walk to the shop, but it's probably going to be too hot.

What do you have planned for today?

How about you @outlander?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

https://www.hoyts.com.au/
maybe this will give you some ideas? its got the trailors to each movie as well. @eth

So far im waiting on people to pick up items again due to no shows yesterday. ive got to go to kmart to get a few things plus mums buying some more of the sschool stuff so will get out of the house for a while and we might be taking a drive down south to have a look at some camping grounds and get prices for 2019

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Movie sounds good @eth 🙂

Not much on today. I was just saying to @outlander that I really need to start some back to school organising so I might try that. Kids (especially littler ones) need to start getting to bed earlier and waking earlier too as they've been thrown way out of whack there so getting back to routine is on my mind to start again also.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @outlander

@CheerBear getting your kids into a routine again ahead of school starting is a really good idea. I found parenting a lot easier when my child was in a routine, thoroughly believe in routines. But also in the need to have free times as well. It has been sounding as if your kids have had a really good time over the holidays.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm a big fan of routines too @eth, though I'm not a fan when something wobbles them (which so many things do!) so I need to work on being more OK with unexpected events/ things that happen I guess.

They've had a good holidays I think. We haven't done much but I don't think that's a bad thing as they get so busy during the school terms that they enjoy some recharge time. They've definitely been creative and enjoyed getting away to some fresh air and a big yard here and there which is good 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's a balancing act between open to change and established routine isn't it @CheerBear. I think you do a pretty good job

I take my hat off to anyone with more than one child, especially doing it as a single parent - I only raised one myself, albeit with disability issues for them and me being undiagnosed bipolar 1.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I can imagine how hard you might be had it @eth. It's not easy being a parent with mental health issues eespeciallynot recognised/untreated ones and would think it might be harder again with a child with disability issues. As for being a single parent, for me I think it is easier than when I was in a relationship. I've been doing it alone for as long as two of mine can remember and it's been OK though I do sometimes wish I had more hands/someone to lean on a bit more/someone to take over etc. It was when we lost our social connections and we moved away from our people that I struggled the most. Slowly (ever so painfully slowly!) we're getting there though

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Zoe7 how are you today?

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