FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

16,391 - 16,400 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Helloooo, sweet pea! Good to see you this morning too. Hope your day is tops. @Bunniekins

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Mazzy I hope you have a wonderful day :). Sorry to hear that things are wearing you down at the moment. Hopefully things will start to improve for you today. Love greenpeaxxxx

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's so tricky to find that balance with medications I find @Bunniekins. I hope you can reach a place that feels better for you soon ❤

So much going on there @Mazarita and no wonder those eyes are giving you some trouble! I really appreciate your approach with your meds and how you're able to sit with mood changes and fluctuations for a little while and then carefully consider when it might be worth adjusting them.

You're right about time with friend being healing and fun. We've become a bit closer after going through what we did, though I can still feel pretty p....ed at him for not having to have gone through it the way I did (though I get it isn't his fault that he's a male kind of person lol). He's well and truly moved on and gotten over it, while I'm still a bit stuck sometimes, and that can be tricky. Fun though he is and it feels nice to be with him most of the time.

Your morning does sound lovely ❤ It is cool here and still, with plenty of birds to listen to before the traffic built up. Moment by moment sounds good 🙂 I have my GP appointment and she's doing the contraception thing which I'm not looking forward to but will be glad to have the peace of mind of. Then a counselling appointment with a counsellor I haven't seen for a couple of months. Friend and I are thinking of going out tonight, possibly to the cricket. I don't do 'go out' aside from kid trips, so it'll be a stretch but maybe enjoyable (trying to be optimistic here 😆)

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks for your kind thoughts, @Bunniekins. I am okay with it all, despite the difficulties, especially since things seem to be slowly starting to improve. Getting older and perhaps wiser has helped me remain fairly okay in whatever state I'm in these days. I panic about the ups and downs less than I used to. Just need to get through this transitional time now and things are likely to be rosier before too long. The great blessing of C in my life makes things always better too. Come to think of it, that's probably more the reason for my okayness overall, rather than any wisdom I might imagine I have now, lol.

@CheerBear, healing and fun sounds so good for you, even if there's some tricky in there too. Hoping the best for you with the contraceptive thing. At least it will be done very soon now, so no more suddenly unwelcome and major life issues arising again in that way. Hugs for what you are still processing there. Going out tonight seems like it could be a really good change for you too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Mazarita. Fun is definitely good and I'm kind of really enjoying the feeling of having him around and in our lives. He's a good person with a big heart and he's kind and gentle 😊 I can forgive and move on from the thing he said during the big tizz/blow ups we had when we were both going though the stress of what happened. I imagine many people might be pushed by that one.

Today will be a good step forward in making sure no more of those kinds of oopsies happen so we don't reach that point again. He's very supportive and empathic (something I'm not used to in relationship) and has offered to come (which was a big no thanks from me, but a nice gesture).

For what it's worth, I think you're pretty wise. Love 'the great blessing' that is C 😊❤

I'm going to go and wake up said friend I think, and enjoy a little time together before getting today started.

So good to catch you!

❤ to all 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Wonderful that you are able to forgive, @CheerBear. So true that the stress of the experience would not bring out the best in most people. When you were posting about what was happening with him at the time, my first instinct was to go grrrrrrr in a big way. I'm glad now that you have been less quick to that kind of reaction, especially in making rash decisions about the friendship at that time. Makes me happy to know you have a big-hearted, kind, gentle and empathic close person, and that things can grow in a more natural flow now, without the huge complications.

So good to have met up again this morning. Before doing anything on the computer today, I wanted to reach out to you again. You are so nice to reach out to! Hugs.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Before I go offline this morning, I also wanted to leave a message to you, @Exoplanet. Thinking of you with all this summer heat. Thinking of you just because you are you. Sending lots of love your way, and big hugs too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Bunniekins I have a lot on today - DBT, pdoc, GP and chemist and then hopefully a trip to Bunnings but that will depend on how tired I am after everything else.

Hi @Mazarita @CheerBear @Shaz51 @eth and everyone passing through this thread

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth and @frog How are your days looking?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning @Mazarita @Zoe7 @CheerBear @Bunniekins @Shaz51 @Adge and anyone else around here today.

@CheerBear hope you're having a lovely time with your friend. I'm sure you are. And that if you do go out tonight it brings nothing but enjoyment.

To reply to your question I still often end up with an hour or two with sw that I haven't got a plan for, but am going to try to use it for more regular exercise. Most of my time with them is used up by essential things like appointments, shopping etc and I often don't have energy for anything else after that but I need to make more of an effort. Today we're bussing it to the psychologist and back and then going for a longish walk at the beach and possibly a swim after that. I'm also looking into beginner's bridge lessons at a local club and will check out the local writer's centre and the women's centre when I get around to it.

@Zoe7 sounds like you have a pretty full-on day today. I hope you get through it ok.

Your garage job is growing but I'm sure you'll achieve your goal there before too long. The end result will no doubt make it worth the effort.

@Shaz51 how are things going for you? I'm imagining you're back into the work again. Water tai chi is fabulous, gets the whole body moving gently and your mind is totally focussed on what you're doing - the outside world drops away.

Hugs and love back to you too @Mazarita and thanks for your thoughtful response to my long post. You always seem to get it when I write about the big picture of my life.

Hoping things stabilize for you soon and you get that balance between enough sleep and continued creativity - so elusive for both of us. With your dry eyes - there's an over the counter pharmacy remedy that might work for you.

Hearing you and @Bunniekins about the cost to stability of decreasing certain meds. I can see why there are other factors in my life that mean I can't afford that risk currently e.g. the EMDR process, the family going away, current ptsd issues.

@Adge Hoping you can have a rest day today and that the dental trauma has eased. My ptsd flares up whenever someone works around my mouth or neck so I know how stressful it can potentially be.

Hi to you too @Exoplanet and @outlander.

Hoping today is going smoothly so far for all of you. Sending warm wishes to all who pass here today.

16,391 - 16,400 of 27,230