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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Awake in the middle of the night after going to bed about 8pm last night. Second night in a row when I've fallen into bed super early. Woke again tonight about 1.30am to two emails from two separate video collaborators. These communications often arrive in the middle of the night because most of my collaborators are overseas in different time zones. Reading them, and now knowing the additional work that will be required on these two videos, has got me too awake to sleep for the time being. At the same time I am too tired to do anything on the projects now. So here I am, sorting stuff happening in my life, on the page.

Saw both of my recently suicidal friends yesterday, in separate get-togethers. Both of them were in better places, thank goodness. Both have major events coming up soon: a 3 week holiday for one; a week in detox from alcohol for the other. Hoping these interruptions to their troubles might have positive effects. The friend I have been most concerned about, partly because I've felt least able to help with her troubles, now has her mother staying with her for the time being. So the pressure is a bit less now in regards my worry about them both, which has been affecting me a great deal over the past couple of weeks. Recent events with these friends also makes me reflect on what I've put other people through in the past when I've been in profoundly troubled and sometimes suicidal states myself. Too often, when we feel so desperate, we can forget how much other people care and how much our life is interlinked with others.

Tomorrow I will try to get my washing done. Ground myself in ordinary things. And get onto some more work on the videos, which I essentially see as my occupation, though I make no income from it (or, on very rare occasions, just a little). Despite the lack of income from my passion, I feel very lucky to have something that gives me a sense of meaning in my life. It's been with me since I was 21, so that makes about 34 years of sometimes life-saving occupation with it.

By the way, some of you may notice that I've changed the name of this thread from 'A Long and Self-Indulgent Rave' to just 'A Long Rave'. I did this mainly inspired by @CheerBear's observation a little while back that it's not really self-indulgent to talk about what we are going through. After thinking about that for a while, I decided to drop the self-deprecating and implicitly self-critical words from the title.

I could probably rave on longer tonight but this post is already long enough. Thanks to anyone reading. No need to respond unless you really want to. Some of these posts here are really just monologues to help me sort things out in my own mind and to better process what life is throwing at me.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning @Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @Former-Member and all

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Re: A long rave

Well here I go on another possibly long rave. Not in a bad space today so far. Often at the moment it seems my days go along modestly okay for a bit and then I fall in a hole. Then back up and sort of okay for a while then down again and having to do positive-reasoning self-talk like mad to try to scramble my way back up to level land again, which doesn't always work quickly. It's an endurance test of many varied depression obstacles. Many holes in each day. Distractions like writing about it here or chatting help too sometimes.

But for now I am okay. Just read @CheerBear's moving account of her journey through trauma while crocheting a magnificent blanket. Reminds me of my own more modest knitting project. For about four months I've been avoiding doing the last part of it - the sewing up. In difficult little bursts I've moved things forward with it bit by bit over that time to the point that all that is left to do is sew the sleeves into the body and weave in the threads. So far it's taken me longer to sew up than to knit all the pieces. That part of it flowed so beautifully and it will be a ace good jumper when it's finished. It's a gift for C.

All this has just given me the obvious idea of bringing the knitting here to friend's place tomorrow to work on then. She is away at present and I am spending most of my days here alone. The NBN are still drilling through concrete at my building. It's pouring rain here and will be until the weekend. I don't have a car. So these solitary days away from home are long.

And so is this post at this point so I'll end it.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita 💕

Something tells me you're well equipped to deal with tests of endurance, as tricky and tiring as they may be. You've got this, one little stitch at a time 💗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good Morning Mazy @Mazarita

Rave away girl! I'm glad your 'space' is not bad so far today 🙂 It doesn't surprise me that your jumping up and down like a yo-yo! Your spending most of your time outside of your home, your comfort zone, your 'space'! Because your home has been invaded by 'digging to China workers'! You've had a mad few months, on top of a mad life (don't mean any offence by that, just mean it's been sooo full on!) Good on you for being able to use the positive-reasoning self-talk to be able to scramble your way back up, I'm proud of you for that!, I know how hard that is for me. I wonder whether it's thought that people that have lifetime ailments and are still going after decades of their lives, have it all covered; there is no covering it, there is only managing it , , , and it can be exhausting. I think the older we get the easier we tire, so compared to a teenager the endurance your showing right now is like that of a seasoned warrior.

I think taking your knitting (well stitching up of the knitting you've already accomplished) with you to your friends is a great idea. Not only so that you finish the project, but because your taking a little of home with you, and it may be a great distraction from negative thoughts. Just imagine, in your mind, your companion slipping the jumper on - then imagine the warmth you have created for them, the comfort they will receive from it - not just the wool, but in every stitch there is love

I am in awe of how much love and support you give to all those around you. I have tried throughout my life to do that, but I can't tolerate people, I can't believe them, I can't trust them and it destroys every relationship of every kind I have ever had. Except for my child and my pets. I am honoured that you call me friend, and I am glad this is an anonymous forum and we cannot meet, so I can't destroy it 🙂

Sending you the same amount of love as you have stress, to help the balance today 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Former-Member, love to you too on this quiet rainy day. The internet may be a kind of dream space in one way and it makes friendships like ours possible.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You don’t have to read this, I just needed something to occupy my mind while I waited to be able to get back onto the site 🙂

I was enjoying replying to posts this morning and although it wasn’t an instant recognition, it slowly dawned on me that my brain felt like it was firing and my fingers appeared to be working 🙂 I felt like I was being supportive, as much as any individual can be; and that makes my worthwhile feel much greater. Then my modem started complaining about needing its battery recharged. I know that when I have to physically connect the cable, I have troubles keeping the connection with the internet; whether my usb port or the usb plug or both are a little worn, it’s a case of you don’t even have to bump it, just breathing the wrong way near it and it will disrupt my internet connection. Although usually what I do is connect it wirelessly as well, that way I normally can keep my connection while it charges – but this morning it simply wouldn’t do it! But no matter how much I told myself, I just have to turn it off and let it charge for a while – I wouldn’t do that. I just kept trying for a couple of hours. Getting more and more frustrated as I did. I tried to be patient and played a game whilst it did its connecting – but it didn’t work; and like a spoilt rotten little child – I started having a tantrum! Actually yelling out loud, it’s not fair, all I want to do is press the like button. I felt like I’d left things unfinished, like I’d abandoned someone. Well, I finally did turn it off to let it charge, it’s still charging at the moment. I can access my computer, just not the internet. So I’m typing 🙂 One of the things I noticed while I was having my tantrum was that my brain felt like it stopped firing in blocks and my fingers stopped hitting the right buttons – damned negative thinking, I think it’s really destructive with me. I hope it was wisdom that had me turn the internet off for a little while, and I hope I turned that negative moment into something a little better. Not only did I turn it off, but I went and washed one of the mountains of dishes beside the kitchen sink. (Now there’s only 1 mountain to go 🙂 ) I think I must just really feel like communicating right now, perhaps I’m feeling lonely and I’ve just gotten so used to that feeling that I don’t consciously recognise it? And I can still communicate, I can copy and paste this in when I do get my connection back 🙂 I’m going to blow my own trumpet, I do believe I’m thinking positively, turning around that little tantrum and looking at it differently 🙂 I’m being a naughty girl and still drinking coffee, I’m making a chocolate one right now 🙂 I think this site is like a cyber-drug for me, I suffer withdrawals when I can’t access it! But I know there are a lot nastier drugs out there and I happen to think this is a very beneficial, pleasant one 😄 I want everyone to know they don’t have to feel worried about saying I’m a looney, crazy, mad-lady . . . I happen to be proud of that fact, and I think I prefer those terms to MI. My whole life I have dealt with society treating me like I’m suffering a deadly infectious disease. My lifestyle is my way of saying ‘That is wrong, I do not agree, I will not tolerate it!’ YAY – I’m at 85%!

Well the afternoon is moving along and I have no wood. It might be cool tonight so I’d better go and get some. I’m not going to get the farm-car going, as it’s the farm-cars battery that I have on the second solar system; and I’ve been running both systems out of power every night for the past few or more. I could take the battery out of my good car to start the farm car (an old hatch back I use to collect a better amount of wood), but the truth is I just don’t have that kind of motivation today (the dishes were more than I expected to get to today 🙂 ) So I’ll just grab the wheelbarrow and get enough for tonight, whack some of it with an axe and by the time I’ve finished all that; I’m hoping that last 15% will be done 😄

As I don’t believe there can be enough appreciation, I want to Thank everyone! The users, the moderators, the techs, the guests and even the Government, for this site. Though I do have some pretty ‘out-there’ conspiracies about Governments, as I also believe anything that has a Human Being in it can be corrupted beyond any recognition of what it originally was. I’ll also confess that I often feel like this site is some kind of experiment, and I’m being deliberately poked and prodded to see just what tone I squeak in. But I look at it that that shows just how much I appreciate this site. I’m quite happy to have my squeaks listened to, even sometimes feeling a little privileged that my squeaks may in some way help another. I’m going to squeak whether the Government pokes me or not.

Well I’ve just gone onto the 2nd page of my Word document, so I think I’d better finish and go and get that wood. Stop fingers, STOP 😄

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hello Mazy @Mazarita

I'm thinking of you, on your way or already at your friends place. I hope you remembered your knitting 🙂 and I hope the Currawongs are singing just for you

Love Niqua XxX

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Former-Member, I love your long raves and always feel free to add them here.

I didn't bring my knitting to friend's place today. I'm meeting my support worker here today so have decided to save the knitting for tomorrow which will be a longer, more solitary day. I may get the sewing in of the sleeves done done in one day.

I had to giggle a bit (though I also take it seriously) that you had a tantrum over the net connection. At one level, it's totally understandable how frustrating that would be, given your isolation. On the other hand I too have felt it worthwhile to recognise that many of my crazy outbursts over time have been adult tantrums! It's kind of helped me in a funny way to think of those tormenting times like that. It's helped me with the slow job of developing more patience, which feels much better all round. But still I am stressed very easily and get irritable and have dark thoughts about myself and others. But, as my psychiatrist says, it's the journey that matters. There is no destination really except to live out our lives as human beings as best we can. Well, that's how I see it now.

Again, I admire your capability in living a proudly independent, largely self-sufficient existence out there.

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