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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes @Mazarita her bp was over 200!!! This has been going on for a couple of years and tho' it is medicated, the meds often don't seem to work. And none of several doctors and specialists and hospitals have found the cause, it's just symptom management.

So .... gifts .... we gave small gifts to closest people in the morning - from me it was chocolates all round. Bro gave me a yahtzee game and sil gave me an amazing card - quite large image of a maori warrioress called Pare Watene from 1878 - incredibly powerful image. It just unlocked me and I had to withdraw and have a good cry. Brought up so much because the guy that did the dv on me is maori too. Part of it was feeling like if I'd had my manna on (inner and spiritual strength of warriors) then a lot of things would have happened differently; part of it was understanding sil wanted to remind me that I AM strong and resilient and can be inspired by such women. And I've just realised that 1878 is the same year that Black Elk's vision that has inspired so much of my life learning and behaviour (native american) happened. Interesting...

I was also given 2 bottles of australian wildflower and alaskan gem essences (combined in the one potion) one for peace and the other for being grounded. This from sil's cousin in the Kris Kringle giving, who has only met me 2 x before. Yet again it seems that someone knows my MH diagnosis without me having told them myself, but this time I didn't mind. I am learning to trust that this clan I'm part of have my best interests at heart.

I gave my nephew a ramen hamper I'd put together for him which he seemed to love.

Sorry to hear about unwell one's troubles and well one's challenges (and therefor yours too) @CheerBear. Lovely to hear that you all got through the day with a lot of highlights, especially with and for your children.

____________________________________________________

Mana is defined in English as authority, control, influence, prestige or power. It is also honour. Traditionally there are three kinds of Mana. @ maori.org.nz.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

So nice to bump in to you both also @Mazarita (wondering if @eth might be taking a moment away from the computer) ❤ The house won't be quiet for too much longer I imagine so I may be heading out soon (or not, we'll see) but just in case, I really hope you and C have a lovely day and you enjoy getting back to your videoing today xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

What special gifts @eth ❤ and especially great to hear you're learning to trust the clan 😊

Right on cue I hear little feet wandering around so I'll say a goodbye for now but might pop in again later.

❤ to all

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Interesting to read about the significances of the Maori influence in your life. Sounds re-empowering to have received that gift from SIL (at the same time as bringing up a lot). Seems good that you are now thinking of your manna, that it is in fact strong in you, and that it may now be possible to express it more outwardly. I will look up Pare Watene and maybe also Black Elk. 1878, a significant historical moment for you, it seems.

I have been a fair bit into history, especially family history, in my life. It's been said that on my mum's side we have Maori ancestry, though I couldn't find trace of it in my exhaustive family history research for some years a while back. But it's difficult to research Maori heritage and the line that is thought to have that connection was shrouded in mystery.

In Australia, I have a theory that there are a lot of 'white' families here that have aboriginal ancestry that was mostly covered up and kept secret in order to be seen as purely 'white'. I have been in contact with an aboriginal family in western NSW who have some uncanny similarities with the family on my dad's side, who were based in the Shoalhaven, and included a grandfather I never met who took off to Wilcannia and lived out his life there. That family in the west seem to think we have connections too.

On the other hand, I may just be another white girl trying to connect with native cultures when there is nothing there! I'm very sensitive to that issue, and do not push it in any way aside from what seems to naturally arise.

The gem essences sound lovely and great to hear you feeling reassured that your clan has your best interests at heart.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Have a good one, @CheerBear. Until next time...

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Have a good day @CheerBear. It just took me a while to write that last post.

@Mazarita I echo so much of what you just said re undisclosed family history and possible connections. I too had the impression an elder in our family took off for years and probably had an aboriginal family while he was gone, that possibly this was up my father's mother's line. But my brother, who has done ancestry research too, says that this was something I came to believe when in psychosis, and both he and my adult child have suggested I am guilty of cultural appropriation. My beliefs about that in relation to myself are complicated. I don't begin to believe I can define what is or isn't spiritually. But if reincarnation is a thing it could explain a lot. And identifying with indigenous practices from various sources seems natural to me, as there was both wisdom and practical benefits from such practices and they can inspire what I'd call the rainbow way - incorporating knowledge from many sources.

Rave on......!

I am giving my nephew a massage this morning so it will be interesting to see what comes through and from me while I'm doing it now that all this has been stirred up again. When I massage I keep the physical as primary focus including structural and mobility analysis, but lots of other stuff is going on at the same time e.g. reiki, shiatsu, tu ina ......... I was not given the name Running Deer by an aboriginal man many years ago for no reason.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Best with the massage, @eth. Hope it's healing for you and your nephew both.

I was just reading this interesting article:

https://hyperallergic.com/355682/maori-portraits-offer-a-window-into-new-zealands-colonial-history/

I agree that our interest in native cultures, and feelings of connection with them, can not be all explained away as cultural appropriation. I believe there is so much to learn from our native cultures that it is instead a sad thing if we are not open to that. Knowledge and awareness leads to identification within ourselves of what we are learning. That's not a bad thing. On the other hand, I think there are ways we need to be sensitive to our attitude to it all, especially being respectful and, is is said in that article you linked too, approaching native culture with humility.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Aho (hear hear) to that @Mazarita I completely agree. I think it's most important that we be invited into that sort of knowledge rather than take it without permission (the colonial way - anthropological and botanical history in particular). And being humble and respectful to the knowledge and the people who carry it is the only way.

I paid a hard price for that realization and changed my ways in my 30s. I was punished physically for getting involved in what was 'not my business' (I thought I was answering the call) .... but I think you already know that story. Since then I know just to sit down and listen with respect. And gratitude.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Reading this article now, @eth:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Elk

Hi @Zoe7, sensing you around about now.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita Good morning Mazzy firstly I love your comment 'a big girl needs a big towel! ' Damn right!! Big girls don't want postage sized stamp towels thank you very much :D. Your Chrissy day sounds fabulous. I am so happy that you had a great day and that your mum was so happy with her present (you can tick that box off!).

Have a great day today Mazzy. Love greenpea xxx

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