FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

15,911 - 15,920 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth

What a convenient ironic bonus in having cold cores.

@Bunniekins @Zoe7 @Mazarita @Shaz51

I will be hanging on by a thread, but intend to get through this Dec 25th.

Warm wishes to you all.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom Will be thinking of both you and @eth on the 25th 🙂 xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi all. Well round one is over, shorter than I'd anticipated. Only a couple of short-lasting glitches. Turns out uncle is staying with mum at the motel for tonight so they'll both be here for breakfast tomorrow before he heads further south. Then mum is around for another 3 days. She tried to be affectionate physically a few times and I still just felt cold and resistant. Managed to stop short of actually pushing her away. But at least she didn't get a chance to do her interrogation ways as uncle was doing his usual long raves without allowing others to join in and have dialogue. Tomorrow may be another story once uncle goes. Oh well ...... family!!!

@Mazarita

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Will be thinking of both you @Appleblossom, and @eth

hello @Bunniekins, @Mazarita, @Zoe7

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita !!! Just came on here and saw your supports. Feel like a chat?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth, have been catching up on the notifications under my bell icon, and finally getting around the 'supporting' the posts I've only been reading in email notifications lately. There were more than 100 notifications under the little bell! After 99, the forum can't count, so just shows it as 99+. Not as bad as it sounds when it comes down to it, as I skipped over a lot of the 'supports' for my posts, leaving only the posts themselves to read. About five more pages of this thread to go, others I'm all caught up. My mission for this early hour!

How are you tonight?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I'm ok thanks @Mazarita Just had an almost 4 hr sleep which is a really good block for me. Making the most of the night time peace as tomorrow will be the start of the busy time here. Niece and nephew and sil's cousins and their kids and another friend and her kid all arriving, on top of mum and uncle here from breakfast time. Whew I'm feeling it already!

Great to hear elsewhere that you are progressing your video's exposure via youtube and maybe the other one is pinterest. Hope you get some really good responses.

How are you tonight?

If I was away for that many pages I probably wouldn't read them all - well done you.

PS munching on cherries and connoisseur ice cream here - gotta love Christmas specials at the supermarket!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, glad of the surprise get together with you, before things go haywire socially there.

Four hours is a good block for you, compared to how it's most often otherwise been for as long as I've known you. I've only had about 2.5 so far tonight. Went to bed at 9-9.30pm, really exhausted. Thought I might crash out for longer this time due to the accumulated tiredess I was feeling yesterday. But 'bing!' awake again before midnight.

The other video site is not Pinterest. I have an account there, and a few videos from when I was active years ago. But never visit that site anymore. Thanks for the good wishes about response to the videos. Facebook is the main source of interest in my work.

Didn't have it in mind to catch up on so many notifications. Just came on site, kind of laughed when I saw how many there were. Then thought, why not start reading them.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That's still reasonably good sleep for you lately tho' isn't it @Mazarita. My grandmother used to say 'an hour before midnight is worth 2 after midnight' ! I know well the 'bing' feeling!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, you are not wrong about my sleep lately. I've usually managed to piece together four hours over a whole day. Two and a half hour chunk is not too bad. One night I slept only an hour! Got another hour sometime during the day.

Just had a late/early breakfast, a smoke, and a look at the night sky.

Yesterday was the first day for some time that I did very little video. I instead started the day with physio exercises. As the day progressed I did my washing, cleaned my bathroom, vacuumed bedroom floor, and then went on to do the main room and the kitchen.

C usually does the vacuuming in the common areas. I like it when I can get myself to do more, and save him the chores. It is my aim to do more and more of my fair share over time. I have certainly improved a lot with this over recent years, but he still does all the cooking and food shopping, and more. Have made him a couple of toastie and sandwich 'meals' too over the past couple of days. He loves it when I do that. So do I.

Anyway, though it doesn't sound that much on the domestic front yesterday, it really exhausted me, at least partly because of the accumulated lack of sleep. Tried to do some video stuff last night, but couldn't get through the first part of the task due to being so sleepy. That's how I came to be in bed so relatively early.

15,911 - 15,920 of 27,230