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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Nice to hear from you @Mazarita Hope you do get to the beach today. But for now I hope you're sleeping soundly and awaken feeling refreshed.

Lots of posts to catch up on but sending morning hugs to all who see this.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey eth @eth how did you go yesterday with all your shopping?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Shaz51 hope today is looking cruisy for you. To answer you - the last visit from the sw was spent seeing psychologist and psychiatrist on the same day. Pretty intense but good to see them both before the festive shut-down period. And work out some strategies for getting through my mother's visit and the gathering of people (a dozen or so) most of whom are staying here for a couple of nights.

________________________

Rave for today ...

Psyching myself up this morning - Mum arrives around lunch time with my Uncle who is also a challenge. Last time I spoke to him he said repeatedly that he wanted Christmas by himself and wouldn't come even if we invited him. Apparently that changed when Mum invited him. I'm expecting he's been offended and will find a way of saying so. He's a cantankerous fellow who talks non-stop about troubled times in his life - I get that they happened and do sympathise but there's only so many times I can hear the same stories, and usually he does it at really inappropriate times. And doesn't leave space for anyone else to talk, or listen if they manage to squeeze a word in edgewise.

And I've already raved about the situation with Mum. I have no idea how I'll go interacting with her. Don't even want to hug her hello - which she'll be expecting. I just feel cold and distant when I think of her being here.

At least I have an excuse not to kiss either of them - bloody outbreak of cold sores - usually triggered by extreme stress.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I sketched out the design for my painting last night @Bunniekins and want to paint the background today. Hope you do get to your son's room while he is away. I still have a lot of cleaning up to do after dumping everything from work on the dining table - it will probably not get cleaned completely today but will make a start at least.

Hi @eth What aremyour plans for today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hey @Bunniekins got all my shopping done, and it wasn't as chaotic out there as I had feared. But I forgot to go to the tobacconist - I don't have any supports now until after new year so don't know how I'm going to go. The pressure is on me to stop smoking (from my brother) but I didn't plan to go cold turkey. I have an e-cig (vape) but am still only using it a few times a day. Even my psychologist said that in a period when I have added stress is not the time to try to give up.

Sorry I'm a bit me me me this morning. Hope you're enjoying your day so far. I imagine it's a bit more peaceful when your son is with his Dad. Do you have plans for Christmas?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth 😞 God Christmas can be a pain in the back side when you have to deal with as you put it so well 'cantankerous' old people. Wishing you well with your mum and will be thinking of you today (sorry to hear you have cold sores ... right on Christmas :(). Hoping you will be able to squeeze in some time over the next few days to let us know how you are going but understand completely if you are not up to it. Love greenpea xxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth I have son2 coming back tomorrow with ex and we will be having our Chrissy celebrations then. On Christmas day I don't know what I will be doing!!!:o the kidults just like sleeping in and being on their computers. My mum goes to a friend's daughters house for Christmas and sadly due to my daughter's being transgender she has never been included in the invitation so I have never accepted ... daughter doesn't know which is for the best. Oh well what can you do with ignorant people.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I totally hear you re ignorant people @Bunniekins. Uncle always finds a way of mentioning that he can't wrap his head around my adult child's way of being - non-binary transgender, change of name etc and my mum has suggested that they are guilty of child abuse because they are not telling people what parts their baby has (i.e. what gender was assigned at birth). So I'll be stewing and having to suppress my reactions and all that what they say brings up for me. I haven't told adult child these things either.

Celebrating tomorrow with ex involved sounds really positive. I hope it's totally pleasurable for you.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Oh god hugs and hugs for you eth. Thank god Christmas only happens once a year.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Bunniekins I knew you'd understand.

Thinking of you and sending warm wishes @Appleblossom and @outlander.

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