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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Well thats a pity re kids @eth it seems common these days, nieces nephews had to be told to say thanks. anyway.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I hope so @Appleblossom - makes my decision to leave so much easier in a way - today cemented that in my mind and all I could think about when driving home is Yes I made the right decision.

How are you doing?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am alright. Thanks @Zoe7

Cat is curled up at my elbow.

I think there are things going on re christmas and my son, but its best if I just focus on my life and do whats right. Not ruminating re FOMO.

My mental health worker came today. It is so nice having the home visits. I could have done with them a long time ago, but it is really being on the forum, that enabled me to research and push for services for me, reading about you and your GP etc. Saying to myself i deserved support, and that I did not have to do everything all alone.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

SO pleased you have that support now @Appleblossom - we all deserve that support and I wish we all had the same support that I have had - it, along with the forum, has been my saving grace.

You are right that you need to live your own life apart from that of your son as he will find his own path as well. But the loneliness can creep in when you feel alone so please reach ouot here when you need over the christmas period

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning everyone : @Zoe7 @Appleblossom @TAB @Bunniekins @Mazarita @outlander @Shaz51 @Exoplanet @CheerBear

Hope you all wake refreshed and have something to look forward to today.

I have a support worker this afternoon and will spend the time shopping with her.

My last shop before Christmas. Expecting it to be pretty mad out there - I would rather go at a quieter time but need to do it with sw so be it - 12 - 2.45.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth Hi eth 🙂 it will be bedlum out there :o! but I know you can do it :). xxxx

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Bunniekins how's your day looking?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @eth thanks for the tag. I had told self shopping ok only food was today but think am putting it off. Another rest day today looks like. Not ideal re crowds and me either well mood dependent. See how I feel after becoming morning bath to warm bones up ritual. Not even sure if can face a coffee. Yep. Interesting dreams last night. Think going to give myself some more space today. Papers. Tv. That’ll do me. Good Morning Everyone 😀

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Have a peaceful day @TAB. Maybe do your shopping in the evening if the shops you go to have extended trading hours - should be a lot less people.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth My day is looking great. I have just scoffed 2 pieces of Chrissy cake and am on my 3rd cup of coffee 🙂 Kidults are still asleep .... Yay! will hang out a load of washing in a minute and have donated some money to the Koala Hospital in Port Macquarie as a Chrissy present to myself :).

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