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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sweet dreams @Mazarita.

Coz I've had so many solitary Christmases over the last 20 odd years, I no longer do the traditional cooking or even the fudge and white Christmas I used to gift everyone every year when I was in my 20s and 30s. This year I'm doing that pumpkin seeded bread I tried recently, a green salad and a salsa verde for the bbq fish we're having. There will be several other adults here and everyone is doing a bit.

We're doing 'Kris Kringle' here this year so I only have to give to my nephew and I've made him a 'ramen hamper' with Japanese goodies coz I know he loves them. And I'm still trying to get a straight answer from adult child about what they want for my granddaughters. There is absolutely no point buying for them without 'approval' from the parents, this is one area where their need to control p's me off, but I've seen them give away other people's gifts and want to avoid that. So much for the joy of giving - half the pleasure is in choosing.

Sounds like you're right on top of the judging job - and nice that you're being inspired by some of the videos.

Catch up another time, soon I hope.

PS Absolutely loved the gallery of bird photos.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Gee whiz @eth they are more than a tad controlling. My kids are the same. What happens in a world where they can no longer do that.

Yes it stifles a lot of the joy.

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I just say you mentioned in December thingo @eth yes had a couple cries/teary moments yest. And yes, did feel better afterwards 😸😇

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Just popping in to say a quiet good morning to you all ❤

@Mazarita@eth@Appleblossom@Bunniekins @CheerBear and everyone

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @outlander and all. From memory, which could definitely be way off and apologies if it is, you have a big day ahead today/soon Outlander. Sending you hugs and best wishes for it all ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yeah @CheerBear i need to leave in about half an hr to get there on time. Im taking you all with me! Our 'brave' quote come to mind this morning and made me think of you and a few others who do brave well even when scared so im going to try and use that today too 😘😘

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I am imagining the nerves and anxiety you might be feeling @outlander but I'm also remembering how many times you've done brave well too. I love that brave quote and am glad you're thinking of it this morning. Looking forward to hearing how it goes. You've got this 😘❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you being here (and for being you) @CheerBear as always i appreciate it much more than words can say. 🌈❤🌼🌻😘

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Before i forget to ask Hows your owl project going? @CheerBear

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's unraveled @outlander haha (I didnt like the colours)! I'm going to try and make a little cactus creature thingy in a pot instead I think 🙂 If that doesn't happen I'll go back to the owl pencil case as I will be able to do that one as a last minute quick one.

Heading out to start my day, as I think you'll be doing soon. Big breaths for and with you 🌈💙
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