FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

15,601 - 15,610 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Morning @eth and everyone here 🙂

So great to hear you had a lovely time with your guests and that your best friend is happy. Sounds like a great time for you all.

Yep the 25th is definitely getting closer! Im not as organised as usual this year and am trying not to let that get to me too much. The stress can get in the way of the enjoyment for me when it starts to get hectic. Lots on with the kids in the last weeks of school to enjoy too.

Hope the morning is going/about to go well for everyone too ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi and good morning @CheerBear. I hear you about wanting to feel organised for Chrissy, and I don't even have young ones to make it special for. I have lists! And will do what I can well in advance re menus, shopping, working out what meds and other things I will need from here til after new year.

Hope you're having a peaceful day so far.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Dropped out for school drop off. So hot already today!

How good are lists @eth?! I can see you being organised in advance and can only imagine the kinds of foods you'll be making and enjoying. I'm lucky in that my kids don't ask for or expect over the top-ness as far as wish lists, though the things on theirs can be a bit random. This year for one it is all about slime so I'm hunting for things like borax that's not borax, and laundry liquid and contact lens solution with particular ingredients. Pretty funny! The special stuff for them is the magic (reindeer food, Christmas lights, stars that we're totally certainly definitely sure are really actually Santa 😉🙂)

It's been a good start to my day today thanks. Any plans for the day for you?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

No definite plans for today @CheerBear. It's a home day. May catch up on admin stuff (updating my calendar and my journal of supports received and reconciling my recent monthly NDIS budget report) and there's a remote chance I'll get on the exercise bike at some stage!

I'm not doing a lot for Christmas as we have a dozen people going to be here, all doing a dish or 2. I'll be doing the pumpkin seeded bread I practiced recently, a salsa verde for the bbq fish, and a green salad. I'm not doing any decorations this year - the truth is I celebrate the solstice more than actual Christmas - I'm more of a pagan and not a Christian. But it's nice to celebrate this time of year with others and especially make it fun for children. I'll be on the fringe a bit I can see as most of the guests are sil's family and one of them is my mother who I'm establishing definite boundaries with recently. Should be safe enough in a group but I fear she will do her best to corner me and interrogate, as she is wont to do. I've already told her I'll need time out at times with so many people here. But saying it and achieving it are two different things.

What are you up to today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Maybe nice to have a quieter home day after a busy couple for you @eth. Your seeded bread sounded yum! I really hope things go OK with your mum while she's with you. It can be tricky spending more time than we're used to with some people! We celebrate magic and family in December. That's about all there is to meaning behind it for us, which is pretty meaningful I think. One of mine started a thing last year where we have a home made gift Kris Kringle. It was absolutely the highlight of the day and something everyone enjoyed participating in and doing. We had all kinds of gifts from painted coasters, decorated notebooks, a sign, framed paintings from not-painters etc. happening. It was super lovely and something we're all looking forward to again 😊

Today I have a doctors appointment and will talk about getting back on a mood stabiliser I had to suddenly stop a couple of weeks ago. It will be a relief when I can get back to the right level there. Other than that, pretty quiet day ahead.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

We're doing a Kris Kringle here too @CheerBear. I got my nephew. Was stumped briefly as to what to give him but then remembered he loves all forms of ramen (Japanese noodles in a broth). So I've put together a ramen hamper for him with lots of yummy bits and pieces like nori and bonito and the like. We were told to spend up to $40 max and this has come in well under that.

Hope your appointment is ok and that going back on the mood stabiliser is helpful. And that you're recovering well.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @eth and @CheerBear. Will just leave this message here for now, to see if you are both still around.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita great to 'see' you! Still here for a while, nothing else happening this morning. How are you today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Great idea with the noodles @eth 🙂 We have an adult KK too and I'm a bit stumped also, but will figure it out. Thanks - I'm recovering well now 🙂

Morning (at not ridiculous o'clock for a change!) @Mazarita. Hope your yesterday went well and your morning has started off nicely ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@eth, good to catch you in real time this morning too. This thread has been quiet lately, partly perhaps because I've been having a hectic time of it in terms of activities out of the flat, on the computer, in my head, or a combination of all of these things. I have also been finding myself posting on other threads a bit more lately, which has taken time away from here. No conscious decision to do this, just what seems to be happening as I see posts from new or recent members that I feel I may have something helpful to contribute to in reply. And wanting to support CB as much as possible with what's been happening for her.

Great to hear your visit from friend and her partner went so well!

I'm not that great this morning, mainly because I woke up with a really bad headache. It's easing a bit now, but think this is going to be a quiet day at home to help with easing that.

@CheerBear, yesterday was good. Went to the shopping mall that's a bit further away than my local village. Thought I had a parcel to pick up there as I'd received an email from Australia Post. Turned out it was a notification that one I'd sent my friend down south for xmas, had arrived there. It was good that I got there though, as I found C's xmas gift within minutes of arriving. I've bought him a set of 100% cotton black sheets/pillow cases for his bed. I often find thinking of gifts for people difficult but I think this is a good one. That just leaves a gift for my close friend, which I may instead find online. I also picked up two summer dresses for myself, my xmas gift to me. It was good to get out after a number of days inside the flat.

15,601 - 15,610 of 27,230