FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

15,571 - 15,580 of 27,230

In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thank you @Exoplanet It is slow and steady progressm herem in other areas like work and health ...and once all those begin to fall into place then I can tackle the bigger things like my loungeroom. I have some plastering to finish and then a lot of prep to do before I paint. The ceiling is going to be the hardest because not only is it peeling from a poor job done with the previous owners but it looks like they have painted straight over the original paint and you can see where the cracks and peeling had already happened - not an easy process to rectify...lots of sanding, scraping and filling to do first. I reconstructed the brick wall where the old fireplace used to be and that now houses all the electrical appliances - tv etc. - that is part of the louongeroom that I am very proud of - bot to finish the rest around it

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

It's a day for me here. One of those days that makes the fact that I have no-one in my real life, all the more prominent. I'm going to go do the grocery shopping in the next town over, I think I might get some take-away's too 🙂 I did receive 2 text messages, that is something. Maybe I'll buy a chocolate, bugger what it does to my insides. I could go a drink, luckily it's only a couple of times a year that focus really kicks in now. I'll buy one of those caffine soft drinks . . . hell I might buy a 4 pack & really have a party! 😄 I could do with some love

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Love to you @Exoplanet

Good morning to anyone else here today.

A quiet one at home for me today too. But getting domestics and admin done are a priority. Tomorrow I have a support worker and want to make sure I've got everything I want for my friends' visit overnight Wednesday. I want to do things at my leisure today rather than with a time limit tomorrow. Sheets are washing so far.

This morning my sil's mum had her elderly cat put to sleep. It was the kindest thing in the circumstances, he's had over 16 years of love and care and was starting to lose weight, not eat or drink, disappear for long periods - and M was fearing he would go away to die alone so she had more control to make it a peaceful departure this way. The vet said he probably had cancer and would continue to go down hill and in pain. I've spent some time with her this morning giving hugs, making tea, pouring port (! but it helps with grief) and looking at photos with her. She's a sweetheart and is taking it hard. We will have a memorial and put him in the front yard where he always wanted to go.

And life goes on ........

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good morning, @Exoplanet, @eth and everyone,

About to get off the forum after a dawn chat on another thread. But wanted to leave some love for friends here before I do, and let you know that I am reading along, even when I'm not posting. Things are very busy-busy with videos and related projects at the moment. Plus it's the silly season now, felt it kick in yesterday. It's a time where things often go weird for me. Not necessarily in a bad way. Just that things seem to be different from other times of the year, less predictable, more chaos-factor somehow.

Hope the visit from your friend goes great, @eth. I'm both sorry and glad that M decided to let her old cat go to sleep. Wonderful that you were able to be so supportive about that. I'm sure M appreciated it. You are lucky with your little clan community, the way you are able to be there for each other, enhancing the quality of everyone's life.

@Exoplanet, hugs and love to you. I hope the chocolate treated your belly okay. Go wild with those caffeinated drinks, I say! I've been off alcohol too for at least six months now, just lost interest in it (in the same way I lost interest in chocolate many years ago, it seems, after being a huge chocaholic in my earlier years). Hope the dogs are going well too. The heat where you are is probably awful by now. Not surprising you might be having some yuck feelings along with it. Hugs again, and more love.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

👋 @Mazarita i seen you pop up not to long ago.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @outlander, here again after an extra sleep after chatting with CB this morning. Total of four hours so far overnight. Will probably nap more over the day.

How are you this morning?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

4 hrs isnt much Mazzy i hope you can get a little more in through the day @Mazarita
Im okish. Just watching a movie and crochetting until its time to take sister to drs. Still trying to work up up the courage to ring the clinic.

How are you going?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Movie and crochet sounds relaxing, @outlander. Is it your rainbow blanket you are doing? What's the movie?

I read your post about your problems with medical people yesterday, couldn't respond at that time. I'm with the many others who have encouraged you to follow up on the women's clinic. Hope you find the courage to reach out to them. I'm sure you will in your own time. I've had very good experiences in the past with clinics specially devoted to aspects of women's health. Almost always, going to one of those places has been incredibly heartening, as with their specialisation, comes more detailed knowledge and respect for what we go through.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Not my rainbow one unfortunately. Im almost finished my aunts baby blanket though so ill be able to work on it again soon. Im hoping to have them both finished by the new yr.
Mm i dont even know what the movies calles my sister put it on. I think its the little ponderosa zoo.

Thanks for the vote of confidence. Ill get there just hesitant. Might ring after drs so at least thats out of the way.


How are you going? Did you have many plans today?

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Mazarita ^^
15,571 - 15,580 of 27,230