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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

All you can do now is remember to breathe @CheerBear! Maybe even take a break from things later if you can and do the most peaceful, mindful thing you can think of.

I had a list of 7 detailed goals (a paragraph each) and NDIS reduced them to 2 short term and 1 long term (each of which kind of umbrella'd some of the ones I had). I actually typed up my list and gave the planner a copy of it.

You are stronger than you might think and also a very clear communicator here, both of which should help you with today and tomorrow but remember it's ok for them to see it if you get overwhelmed or teary during the meeting - I did (couldn't help it) and was told by my family afterwards that it might have been a good thing in some ways that they saw me like that.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

That sounds kind of like what I have with the goals @eth (one that will/can be kind of a more ongoing one, two that are 12 month kinds of ones). I've typed it up also. The booklet they asked me to fill in has the most ridiculously tiny boxes to fill in things like goals, so I typed it all up instead. I had an email confirming the person I am meeting with. I've already had a hiccup (argument) with them and found them very frustrating to talk with. I didnt know at the time that I was speaking with the planning person. Oh well. Maybe not the worst thing, as you say, to have them see/hear me the way I can be.

Thanks heaps eth, for all of your encouragement and support, and for sharing your ongoing journey with us. It has really helped me, and I imagine many others, get my head around this one and prepare myself for it. I'm very thankful and appreciative of all you've given.

Better run. Big breaths.

💗

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Hi @Mazarita!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

What wonderful in depth and well considered chats you all have early in the morning. Amazing! Its not my best time.

Its still nice to be able to catch up when I am ready.

@eth Lovely to have a quiet day. I dag around too.

@Mazarita Your creative process seems to be going very well. I know that struggle to regularise it, rather than going with peak periods. So that might relate to BiPolar???

It is lovely that you can share a good relationship with C on here. So many of us have damaged relationships or none. SO it brings quiet hope that better things are possible, and even if they dont occur it is still reassuring that good partnerships exist.

@CheerBear I too love your rockpool day. I did similar things when mine were young, but it seems years now that I have enjoyed the beach. Note to Self: Maybe I will get down to the coast in the early evenings through summer. Good luck with appointment with muddled middle. I have a muddled middle one. We did not get enough time alone together, ever. I love her dearly.

@Zoe7 I am so glad this is happening for you. I know it is difficult and the extra scrutiny is a strain, but the world really does need teachers of your calibre. The eduction dept also really needs to face up to mental health care within its workers. I was young but mature aged at uni and I socialised with older people. Stressed teachers suffering burn out is not a new thing. It is time the Ed department takes it seriously, works with rehabilitation and keeps their skillset available to the community.

Maybe you can also help set precedent for more teachers returning after lengthy periods of stress leave.

@Shaz51 Dear Shaz Hope you are good.

Another quiet day planned. Cat cuddled on couch.

Have a good Day ALL even if I forgot to mention you.

I am back to Gently Bently.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Appleblossom Thank you for you kind words - means a lot

I don't think I have the confidence to place myself in that position - stigma still abounds around MH and although the Education Department say they are supportive the reality is that they are not. There are many hurdles to jump and one of them is the view of those in charge - they don't understand MI and don't have a set plan to help employees that suffer from a MI (if they do it is not publicly available anyway).

Today I felt like I was given a little more space to teach and I felt more comfortable teaching the class - that has a lot to do with getting to know the kids as well and I did say that to the principal today. I made a few mistakes with keeping to my lesson plan but I knew I had and I will be very conscious of that next time.

We had a professional development after school and I did feel a bit lost - it showed me how much they had done in the last 2 years that I had to catch up on - not sure how I am going to do that without some one on one help - something I need to talk to the principal about.

My next half day is Friday so I will get a few things organised tonight and space the rest out over the next few days.

I hope you have had a good day ...as well as others on this thread @Mazarita @eth @CheerBear @Shaz51 ...the light seems a little brighter for me tonight - I got through the day and seemed to make some progress so that is positive.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

way to go my sister @Zoe7

thank you @Appleblossom, was not feeling good this morning , my blood sugar was 4.9 and feeling funny and very tired

worked this morning and my blood sugar was 7.2 at 3pm when we arrived home

@Mazarita, @eth, @CheerBear, @Bunniekins, @outlander

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Look after yourself my sister @Shaz51

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sorry you weren't good @Shaz51 You are such a trooper working on and on, despite it all. Take Care

@Zoe7

Glad there was a ray of hope today. Glad you have some time, to integrate some of the changes and rally your energy. It sounds very clear and relevant to ask for a little one on one coaching, maybe small review every month. Rather than a big tick and then sink or swim.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks @Appleblossom - I do think there will be a lot I need to research and organise over the holiday period but I can only do that with some guidance from the principal - no-one could expect me to walk straight in and know what has been done while I have been away.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

@Shaz51 Sorry to hear that you are not feeling so good. Wish I could help to make you feel better give you a much needed laugh to help you get your mind of your troubles .... not tonight unfortunately ..... I will send you much love instead.xxxxxxxgp

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