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A long rave

A long rave

Edit Feb 2018: This thread has evolved into a chat thread, which is fine by me. In addition, I encourage other members to feel free to post their own 'long raves' in here too if wished. I will continue to post my own longer raves from time to time, as well as chat with friends along the way.

Original post from May 2016:

First of all, a (very) long post alert. Please don't feel obliged to read or respond. Mainly I am writing today to clear my own head of some things. So, here goes...

Last week, I managed to get to all planned appointments and activities every day of the week except Sunday. That only amounts to one, maximum two, per day, but was an improvement on previous weeks and months. I've made all planned appointments in a week before, but there have not been so many appointments in so many days consecutively. Many of you will know that, prior to about mid last year, I spent years very rarely leaving the flat. This was since the last of my breakdowns from paid employment in 2008 (one of so many similar breakdowns from paid working, though none as devastating in consequence as this last one). With each of these breakdowns, the recovery time got longer and longer. It's taken eight years to recover much at all this time around.

This week, so far, I've made none of my appointments or activities. In fact, I've not showered for days. Embarrassing to admit but maybe helpful to own up to it. As I write I'm still in what I wore to bed, as I was all day yesterday and the day before. The weird thing is that I don't feel that bad in my emotions, just crashed out physically and lacking almost all motivation except to use the computer. In other words, my mind and fingertips are alert and active, in fact nervy and overactive as usual, but the rest of me is crashed out. Perhaps I have entered what some people call a bipolar 'mixed state'. Whatever the terminology, this is where I am and I've been here so many times before.

The way I see it, there are a number of possible reasons for the way I am after last week:

  • inner conflict about how helpful my psychologist treatment is for me (saw her on Friday);
  • trying to further reduce my tobacco intake (the struggle seems disproportionately huge and exhausting);
  • needing recovery time from a big week (by my standards);
  • simply another manifestation of bipolar disorder in me.

Regarding the psychologist. She is young compared to me and I have the feeling that she may not grasp the full extent of my situation, partly through lack of life experience. Perhaps she may particularly lack an understanding of the various physical ailments that complicate things with me, some age-related (menopause, musculo-skeletal problems), one of them a chronic illness (crohns disease). She is treating me with some techniques from Dialectical Behavioural Therapy, something I honestly have never liked the sound of when I've read about it. The main 'homework' I have for this four week period is a sheet I am meant to fill out every night covering various things including tobacco use, coffee intake, isolating, unbalance eating, sleep patterns, lack of exercise. The sheet also includes sections monitoring mood every day. The problem I find is that monitoring and (by implication) tackling all these things at once is just overwhelming. I am significantly depressed after filling out the form because it seems to highlight all the ways I am failing rather than the ways I am succeeding. The psychologist has given me this sheet as homework once before and it had the same effect on me then. A full month long slump into depression is what followed. This sheet makes me feel very pressured to recover quickly from all of these things at once, a message that contradicts the advice of my psychiatrist (who I trust much more). His advice is to take it slowly and steadily and not feel rushed. As of yesterday, I stopped using the DBT form altogether. I am even considering giving up on the therapy with this psychologist after my next (sixth) session instead of seeing it through to the ten sessions my GP is willing to refer me for.

With the difficulty of further tobacco reduction, I am succeeding in reducing this a little more but the effort is gargantuan and seems to be sapping all the strength I have for making it out the door to my activities and appointments (or even to get dressed and showered). Writing here is just about the only thing that is distracting me from smoking again or thinking about it obsessively.

I've run out of steam on writing about it all now (a huge sigh of relief from any readers at this point).

I wonder if anyone else can make any sense of this.

27230 replies

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In response to: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Thanks, @CheerBear. Hugs back to you.

So good to hear you had a better day, and were able to enjoy flowers so much. Great to hear the rehab move is happening today.

I don't have another psychologist appointment until 17 December, last one for the year. I've spaced them out a bit further apart as the year is coming to a close due to only had a couple left of the ten in a year. Next year I think I will do them every five weeks, so that they last better over the whole year. I did think of calling her to use up the one that is left sooner rather than later. But I think I will be okay until I see her as planned. I have a psychiatrist appointment earlier, on 27 November, but I'm not sure I'll talk to him much about the resurfaced memory. Seems like there will be a lot to cover in that one short session, as I cancelled last appointment and won't have seen him for 7 weeks by the time I get there. Also, I'd prefer to talk about that particular memory with a woman.

Have a fairly big day planned for today. I want to get to the local shopping village today to pick up clothing alterations, check my blood pressure at the chemist and get a prescription filled, and also collect my art from the mental health centre, as they need to clear the large pile of our art they have there. Hoping to continue on by bus to the bigger shopping mall, to collect post that is there waiting. Might also visit my friend from there.

The next three days are pretty big ones actually. Have the cardio stress test at the hospital on Friday. Then on Saturday C and I are visiting a friend who is one of my video collaborators to film him performing some of his work. He lives in a country town about an hour from here and we will be staying for dinner too. Looking forward to that, and need to familiarise myself with C's new camera before I get there.

So hoping that this all works out well over the next few days, and helps me out of the difficult aftermath of the weekend.

Phew, that was a long rave for this time of the day!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Good to hear you think you'll be OK until you see her in December @Mazarita, and also great that it seems you'll be able to see her earlier if needed. I find 10 sessions not even close to enough, especially given things like difficult memories and life being life, happen unexpectedly. My psych has seen me pro bono to cover me until next year. So thankful for that as there can be lots that happens between sessions. Totally understand why you'd prefer to speak with a woman about what happened also. Again, giant hugs ❤

You do have a lot on over the next few days. Seems pretty sensible and probably good timing that you've had some quiet rest time in the lead up to the next days. I think it can be really helpful to have that quiet time and then some plans that help shift it too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Fantastic that your psychologist has agreed to see you pro bono, @CheerBear. For me, I don't mind about once a month usually, as I also see my psychiatrist once a month too, and my GP regularly as well. But the events of the weekend did have me thinking it could be good to have an extra session this year. On the other hand, I also don't want to give that memory too much power by repeating myself about it unnecessarily, and making the memory bigger than it needs to be. When I look back on it, I think I handled well a potentially much worse situation. Without going into too many details, and another long rave, the situation was complex, and I internally empowered myself as much as I could with what was happening.

I totally get with your situation why you might want more psychology sessions though. There are a lot more day to day stresses on you, and more trauma to deal with. You are amazing the way you deal with it all.

Yes, I think it's been good to have these days of quiet in the leadup to these next few days.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I love that you are going through all of this with what seems like such a sensible and wise approach by striving to find a balance between working through it and not giving it that power @Mazarita. It can be such a tricky thing to do. You know you and your needs so incredibly well 💛 You really do inspire me Maz, and give me hope that time and reflection can lead to growth.

I don't always feel like I handle things well, but thank you. I am seriously hoping that at the very least the NDIS will allow me to have more sessions with my psychologist. I think the 10 a year helps keep me going which is so important and helpful, but not enough to truly move beyond 'survive'. While time, especially time living with a level of stability and safety like I'm experiencing a bit of now (finally), will really help that, so would more support. Life beyond survive would be awesome 🙂

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

You inspire me too, @CheerBear. I do think you handle things well, given all the circumstances, and despite whatever moments of 'fall down' you might experience at times. I really think I would be a total basket case with what you are managing. My mental health is very prone to collapse under stress. I'm doing so much better overall than I did when I was younger, to a big extent because my life is so much less troubled by external stressors these days.

I'm hoping for you that the NDIS will give you more than extra psychology sessions. Feeling like you are doing more than survive would be so great. The services @eth has finally been able to access seem to be helping a lot now. Hoping there is a wave of forward motion once the extra support comes through for you too.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Like you, stress and me are not a great mix @Mazarita. Cumulative stress and unexpected stress are the things that have tipped me over before and that I continue to worry about/try to manage. It is so good to hear you're in a place where youre doing much better than you were when you were younger. Also like I have heard you mention, I am incredibly thankful that the dsp went through for me. I can't imagine where I would be if that hadn't gone the way it did. Being here and the support and encouragement I received from people like you, gave me the courage and hope I needed to do that and it will (already has) change my life. While very little went to plan this year and I feel like another year has passed without getting where I hoped, by far that is a huge thing that did go well this year and one that will set me up to get there eventually.

Inspired and given hope by @eth also and your perseverance and determination to get what you need, eth. Crossing everything this one works out well for me also as I can see how much it has helped.

All forum feels for me this morning 😉❤😊

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Yes, in a practical sense, the DSP is the biggest factor that has made my life livable and my mental illness more managable, @CheerBear. Prior to getting it, my mental health was pretty much always in chaos, excacerbated to a major extent by huge financial stress. As you know, it in no way makes us rich, and the practical realities of life still involve some struggle and sacrifice, but for me it is enough to live on. That's huge after a whole life of severe financial insecurity. So pleased for you that you have this too now. It's a good grounding for better mental health.

A few birds cheeping here and there, but hardly any really, even though the sky is quite bright. Windless here. Maybe the trees being so still is allowing the birds to sleep in!

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I seriously feel for people who need it but don't get it @Mazarita. As you said, financial stress and the lack of security and pressure, really can not be good when living with health challenges. I am now also much more understanding of the issues in encouraging (forcing) people into work of any kind just to get them off welfare support. I read a really interesting article on employment and mental illness, that spoke about how employment is key to wellbeing. Unlike the general idea that is often pushed on us to 'just get any job', this article spoke of the benefits of 'gainful employment' and the aspects involved in that. It made so much sense that there is more employment that helps us than simply being employed!

Haha re the birds! How do they sleep in the rain, cold and wind?! 😆 Lots of birds here this morning but it is a little windy so maybe that woke them up 😉 It is also very bright and the traffic is building which means it is time for me to get going.

Great to share the morning with you again. Really hope things go well for you today ❤

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

I too feel so much for people who need the DSP and are refused it, @CheerBear. I think that an occupation of some kind is key to better mental health, though in my view it doesn't have to be paid employment. I think for some people suffering mental illness, volunteering in any way, whether formally or informally, can be more helpful. Over the years I have been on the forum, I have tried to do this in an informal way through supporting others through their struggles, as well as receiving support for my struggles too. You do this in your community guide role, so worthwhile. For me there is also the creative life, a career of sorts, though I make almost no money from it. Getting people with mental illness into just any kind of work is often detrimental in my view.

Anyway, enough of my soapboxing!

Great to chat again. Hope your day goes very well, and that your loved one feels happier in their rehab place.

In response to: Re: A long rave

Re: A long rave

Sending love and good wishes this morning to friends I've missed chatting to recently:

@eth, @Exoplanet, @Bunniekins, @outlander, @Appleblossom, @Faith-and-Hope, @Teej, @Zoe7, @utopia, @Sophia1, and those I've forgotten to tag.

Not sure how much I'll be on the forum over the next few busy days. Hoping the time treats you well, with feelings of peace, and uplifting moments.

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